


The Cost of All We Are

by Lula_Landry



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Adventure & Romance, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Badass Rey, Canon Rewrite, Canon Universe, Dominant Kylo Ren, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Kylo Ren Redemption, Lightsaber Battles, Pregnancy, Skywalker Family Feels, Virgin Rey (Star Wars)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:35:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 38,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23730943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lula_Landry/pseuds/Lula_Landry
Summary: What if First Order warlord Kylo Ren was commanded by his master Supreme Leader Snoke to produce a Force-sensitive heir to secure his future? And what if a certain Rey from Jakku was onboard Kylo's ship, hoping the big scary man doesn't notice her? Fate is a fickle mistress- as is the Force.A reimagining of the Star Wars sequel trilogy.
Relationships: Finn & Rey (Star Wars), Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 203
Kudos: 320





	1. My Immortal

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…

A young man stood before his master, shaken to the core. He was no ordinary man and his master no ordinary liege.

It was thirty years since the Galactic Civil War had been brought to a resounding end by the conversion of Darth Vader back to the light and the consequent death of Emperor Sheev Palpatine. Like an infection in an unclean wound, however, the First Order arose from the ruins of the fallen Galactic Empire.

The Order’s strength had grown in the last decade, unwavering in their singular purpose to destroy the New Republic and re-establish dominance across the galaxy. Kylo Ren was a pivotal instrument in the First Order’s ascendancy, a warlord like none other, so powerful in the dark side of the Force it was rumoured he was more shadow than man.

It was this Lord Ren who stood gazing into the cavernous face of Supreme Leader Snoke, his mentor and teacher, overcome by a feeling he hadn’t experienced in years. Shock.

If the ancient creature could see past his mask, he would have known Kylo’s mouth was agape.

“Are you serious?” Ren demanded, the vocoder of his black and silver battle helmet making his already deep voice a crackling, resonating thing. He was dressed, as always, in black robes and a cowl.

The man beside Kylo flinched.

General Hux stood with his spine snapped straight, impeccable in his black uniform, red hair neatly slicked, his pale face carved out of ice. He would never have presumed to question Snoke. At least, not out loud.

If Kylo was the Supreme Leader’s right hand, then Hux was his left, in command of a formidable military force that had overthrown the Republic in many a known world. Hux had assisted in establishing a dictatorship known for its inescapable brutality.

This meeting was unexpected. Kylo had been in the middle of a holovid call with Trudgen, one of the six Knights of Ren, when Snoke summoned him.

The knights were an enclave of Force-sensitive adepts who had renounced the Jedi code, emerging to fill the void left by the last of the Sith lords. Their martial prowess was without equal and they were devotees of the dark side of the Force. They now existed as the most fearsome enforcers of Kylo’s will.

And Kylo’s will had been brought into alignment with Snoke’s.

He knew it frustrated General Hux that Kylo and his elite servants were sent on missions about which the general knew nothing. Tasks that required a knowledge of the Force and a desire for its unending power. Duties a mere military man would fail to comprehend. It must have rejoiced his husk of a soul to bear witness to this unprecedented meeting.

Snoke was silent for so long that Kylo was forced to amend the abruptness of his question. “Master, never before have you raised my bloodline as anything but a weakness.”

Snoke’s twisted mouth curled, his thin, towering form like ash against a black throne. “It is true I was concerned about your commitment to the cause because of your links to the past. You come from a lineage that is historically… troublesome. But the Force is strong with you, my apprentice. Stronger than it has been in previous generations.”

Kylo bowed his helmeted head. “I have sought to prove my worth, master.”

“Then prove it to me once again.”

Kylo looked up.

As was so often the case, the scarred face seemed to wear a humourless smile, the dark eyes distant and cold. In truth it was the emotionless aspect of a profound intelligence. Snoke was a being so ancient even his race was unidentifiable.

Kylo had given up everything for this creature and his promise of the dark side, yet nothing he’d done had ever been enough. Always, more was asked of him.

_He’s testing me. Again._

Deep within, a flicker of dissatisfaction fanned the flames of deeper rage. “What you ask of me…”

“Is a pittance,” Snoke murmured in his gravel voice. “A few minutes of your day until the deed is done. After which you need not concern yourself with the by-product of your actions. I do not see the issue.”

Ren gritted his jaw to prevent himself from gnashing his teeth. “You want me to bring a child into this world. I would call that more than an issue. It’s a sizeable complication.”

“No, my boy,” Snoke purred. “Not at all. I merely request you impregnate a female of your kind. I will then ensure the brood mare and its offspring are suitably looked after.”

For a moment Snoke’s expression was indulgent in a way that- as a younger man- Kylo had enjoyed, even craved. Now, he found it patronising.

“Why would you want that?”

“Let me ask you this; when was the last time you encountered a Force-sensitive being?”

Kylo shrugged. “It has been years.”

“Yes,” Snoke said as if to a simpleton. “Which is why we must ensure the creation of a new generation of warriors. A child of your blood is almost guaranteed to be Force inclined.”

“What about Cardo, Vicrul… Kuruk?” Kylo mentioned his strongest knights in desperation. “Surely they too can do what you ask.”

 _And with more enthusiasm,_ Kylo thought to himself. Vicrul in particular enjoyed the spoils of his dark feats.

“Your six servants are anomalies in their gene pool,” Snoke said, his tone sharpening, “while you are a proven third generation force wielder. Despite the fact your mother lay with a male as pedestrian as your thief of a father, you still emerged stronger than ever in the Force.”

“Perhaps Ren’s concern is more to do with his own skillset,” Hux spoke, his thin voice clear and carrying. “Have you even been with a woman, Ren?”

Kylo’s hands tightened into fists, furious that Hux had placed his finger on exactly the point of concern.

“How dare you…”

“Enough!” Snoke said, and both men turned back to him at once, like attack dogs on short leashes. “It doesn’t take a genius to get the deed done. Ren, in my magnanimity I will allow you to choose your bed mate. Hux, I want you to assist in this matter.”

Hux blanched, no mean feat since he was already deathly pale. “How?”

“Pick a trusted female in your command and have her meet with Ren. She can orchestrate a viewing of the women onboard the _Finalizer_. A woman’s touch is sometimes needed in such situations.”

Hux appeared visibly relieved. “Yes, Supreme Leader. At once.”

“Master, what of my previous assignment?”

Snoke shifted on his throne. “Surely I do not have to explain that the death of the last Jedi remains of pivotal importance? Send your knights to the outer rim if you must, apprentice, but you will coordinate their efforts from this flagship.”

Kylo tried one last time. “I do not understand, master.”

“Those of us who enjoy unlimited power run the paradoxical risk of forgetting to look after our future,” Snoke said. “I would not ask this if I did not think it important.”

Kylo frowned. There was more happening here than he understood. “Have you seen something, master? A vision of what is to come?”

Snoke paused, and his moment’s hesitation was enough to set Kylo’s imagination on fire. His answer, when it finally came, was brusque.

“I will give you three months to produce a pregnant female, at which point if you have failed, I will request that a droid from medbay harvest your seed as if you were a stud Fathier on the Canto Bight racetracks.”

Snoke’s words plunged to the pit of Kylo’s stomach and lay there like a stone. He did not trust himself to speak, merely nodding once.

There was a flicker and the ten-foot holo projection of Snoke disappeared.

Kylo was left shaken, his already stormy mind chaotic with fury and disbelief. What the hell had just happened?

Hux was nothing if not efficient. An hour after the meeting there came a knock on Kylo’s chamber door.

It had taken all that time for the tension in his chest to ease, and he called out without hesitation, “Enter!”

The door swooshed open and Captain Phasma walked briskly into his quarters, immaculately garbed in her chromium armour.

Kylo bit back an impatient sound. So this was the woman selected by Hux to guide him in his choice of… bed mate.

Phasma was a double-edged sword. She was tasked with the training of all eight thousand storm troopers on board the battlecruiser _Finalizer_ and so was uniquely positioned to know the calibre of women available. However, she was also closely aligned to Hux, having served under his father Brendol Hux. Anything they did would be reported straight back to the general.

And while Kylo would love nothing more than to ignore the other man, Hux had decided long ago that they were fierce rivals for Snoke’s favour. He was the worst kind of enemy, one with whom Kylo had to collaborate.

Phasma said nothing, waiting for him to speak.

“Well?” Kylo said brusquely, certain Hux had discussed the meeting with Snoke behind his cowled back. “I suppose you have an opinion on this ludicrous assignment?”

Phasma’s response surprised him. “History has shown all kings have harems, Lord Ren.”

An impenetrable silence followed her words.

“Snoke does not dally in such things,” Kylo said at last, unsure if he should feel angry or embarrassed.

“Forgive me, my Lord,” Phasma countered, “but Snoke is a thousand years old, while you… are not.”

There was another meaningful pause. After Hux’s scorn, Phasma’s cool analysis of his masculinity was disconcerting.

“I do not mean to offend, Lord Ren,” Phasma continued, “but is it true your attachment to the Force requires a vow of celibacy?”

Kylo shook his head slowly. “You confuse me with the Jedi, Captain. Lust is a passion available for manipulation by the dark side, just like fear or anger.”

“So the procurement of slave girls is acceptable to you?”

“A harem sounds exhausting,” he muttered, drawing a short-lived chuckle from Phasma. “I am no Hutt gangster.”

“A mistress, then,” Phasma said calmly. “One female who pleases you.”

Kylo resisted the urge to take off his helmet just so he could tug at his hair. “And how do we begin this undertaking, captain?”

“I will round up the female storm troopers and slave girls of a certain age and you can have your pick, my lord.”

Her tone was emotionless which soothed him somewhat.

“Would you prefer someone exotic to bed?” Phasma continued, as if ticking through a list.

“Really, Phasma,” Kylo spluttered.

“Sir?”

He nearly shook his head in dismay. “She is for procreation purposes only. I will need a human female.”

“If you say so, sir. Though your human DNA is compatible with other species as well.”

Under his helm, Kylo flushed. “Why don’t you prepare the viewing and call me when you’re ready?”

Phasma exited with a half bow in his direction.

Left alone, he turned to face crystalline viewing windows, gazing into a black velvet expanse filled with a million stars.

Was he really doing this? Surely Snoke had gone too far this time. Except his master was right- his obedience cost little except his dignity. He’d made far more difficult sacrifices on his path to the dark side.

Kylo appreciated Phasma’s clinical approach to the whole matter. He should be the same way. This wasn’t a betrothal, after all. He doubted any human girl in his vicinity had an acceptable pedigree for that.

No, Kylo Ren was certain he would not find a female worthy of his attention. A fertile womb would have to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> -The First Order is a direct successor of Palpatine’s Galactic Empire.  
> -Kylo Ren’s helmet is patterned after the battle gear of the Knights of Ren. It was meant to give him a more imposing appearance, but was also a way for Kylo to hide his identity as Ben Solo.  
> -The Knights of Ren are Vicrul, Cardo, Ushar, Trudgen, Kuruk and Ap’lek. They are all Force-sensitive and existed long before the rise of Kylo. Their leader was named Ren.  
> -Armitage Hux’s father Brendol was an Imperial-era leader who fled to safety after the Battle of Endor and was pivotal in the survival of its ideology.  
> -Armitage was his father’s illegitimate son by a kitchen maid and was frequently abused by his father.  
> -Captain Phasma betrayed her family to assist Brendol Hux. Eventually, she would conspire with Armitage and poison Brendol so that Armitage could take his father’s place.


	2. Begin Again

“Come _on_ , Rey!”

“Ugh, just leave her, Rose. She’ll get us all into trouble if we’re not careful.”

“Don’t be like that, Jess. If we don’t look out for one another, who will?”

Rey hastily dried soapy hands before turning to face her three friends.

Well, Rose Tico was her friend. Jessika Pava didn’t seem to like her very much and Kaydel Co Connix did whatever Jess said. As Kaydel had already stated, however, there was safety in numbers, even onboard a First Order ruling star vessel.

The kitchen they stood in was frantic, noisy and breathless, clamouring with enough servers and droids to form a small army, every surface covered in bulk foods and utensils- massive blocks of half-thawed Bantha patties dripped from the counter, enormous pots boiled on the stove. The sticky air reeked of cheap synthetic protein, gravy and starch, and steam billowed from the industrial sized dishwashers in Rey’s corner.

“I’m ready already,” Rey muttered, and the three girls followed Rose down a corridor that led from the galley to a lower level viewing deck.

Cook had informed them that Captain Phasma wanted to see all human female workers of a certain age at nineteen hundred hours. Of course, their duties still needed to be completed.

Having proven over the last six months that she could not cook, Rey was stuck doing the dishes. Rose, Jessika and Kaydel were assigned to meal prep, chopping exotic meats and vegetables. Paige, Rose’s older sister, had actually been given a cooking commission. It was something to aspire to.

Not that Rey was delusional about her place on the starship. She was a slave, no more and no less.

Compared to her pitiful existence on Jakku, she was cleaner and better fed working for the First Order, but at least on Niima Outpost’s sandblasted fringes she’d had some semblance of freedom. Instead of scavenging mechanical parts to trade for food, Rey now spent her days elbow deep in hot water, scrubbing cooking parts too finicky for droid washers.

“What do you think Phasma wants?” Rey asked the girls, turning a corner so quickly she nearly ran into a storm trooper.

“Ssh!” Jessika hissed.

Rey forgot whatever angry thing she was going to say to Jess as they walked through an arched entryway onto the viewing deck.

The room was made up of huge windows bathing the surrounding area in the shimmering light of the cosmos. She took a deep breath, a knot in her chest loosening as she looked out into the expanse of space. She was used to the endless sandy plains and big blue skies of Jakku. Sometimes she grew claustrophobic in the windowless galley kitchen.

“Over here,” Rose muttered, and Rey slowly wound past dozens of other girls until she stood beside Paige.

The older girl gave them a tight smile, and Rey realise she was worried.

Like her, Rose and Paige were human. Unlike her, they were both gorgeous. The sisters had shining dark hair and velvet brown eyes, though that was where the similarities ended. Rose had rounder, cherubic features while Paige, with her high cheekbones and bee-stung pout, often had storm troopers flirting with her.

Jessika and Kaydel were both fair but completely different in appearance. Jess had dirty blonde curls and dark blue eyes, her pretty face set in a permanent scowl. Kaydel’s thin hair was white gold and her eyes dark, her quiet way stamped on timid features.

Rey looked around the viewing deck at the assortment of workers that were gathered there. Outside of cleaners and kitchen hands, she saw hundreds of storm troopers without their helmets. The one thing they all seemed to have in common was their youth and femininity.

She had a bad feeling about this.

Captain Phasma entered the deck and the low murmur of chatter died down instantly. Rey watched the statuesque woman climb a series of steps onto a platform.

“Ladies,” she greeted them, and despite her hatred of the woman Rey had to admit Phasma knew how to capture the attention of a crowd. Her crisp voice rang through the room. “Today is an auspicious day for one of you. Our warlord Kylo Ren requires a mate.”

Gasps rippled through the crowd.

“Silence!” Phasma snapped, and they quickly obeyed. “You will not embarrass me. Those who fail to present themselves in a submissive manner will be punished.”

Rey felt a sick sense of fatalism grip her. Trouble was brewing, she could sense it in her druthers. She’d had the same sensation the day she was harvested by the First Order’s hauler.

She told herself not to be ridiculous. No man would pick her, not with her emaciated body and plentiful freckles which refused to fade. It was Paige who should be worried. Or Jessika, if Lord Ren preferred blondes.

Rey realised she didn’t even know if the warlord was human. Perhaps he was Zabrak, with blood red skin, black tattoos and vestigial horns hidden underneath his cloak and helmet. Though why the man would then put on a mask to make himself even more terrifying was beyond her.

They didn’t have long to wait.

Kylo Ren stalked onto the viewing deck as if in a rage, his every step proclaiming total ownership of the ground he walked on. And of them, Rey thought with a sinking heart.

He spoke not a word as he walked down the line of females, Phasma remaining two steps behind. Most of her fellow slaves looked petrified, their eyes lowered, hands clasped tight. The longer this went on, the angrier Rey became.

Wasn’t it bad enough they’d been taken from familiar surroundings and forced into indentured servitude on this vessel? Granted, she had neither friends nor family to miss her, but that was beside the point. Some of the workers were beginning to weep, tears silently streaking down ashen cheeks.

Sure enough, the Supreme Leader paused before Paige. The older girl’s chin went up and Rey felt a fierce sense of pride that she’d refused to cower. In the end, however, he moved on. Beside her, Rose breathed an audible sigh of relief.

Rey so badly wanted to be brave, but instead her eyes dropped to the flowing hem of Kylo Ren’s black cloak to stare at a pinpoint of light on the well-polished surface of his boots. Ducking and hiding was a preferred form of self-defence on Jakku.

To her horror, those booted feet came to a stop in front of her.

Impossible.

And then he spoke for the first time. “Look at me, little grub.”

No.

No, no, _no._

Rey lifted her face, hoping it was all a bad dream, that when she looked up the silver edged visor would be gazing in Jessika or Kaydel’s direction. But he was staring straight at her, the grim helmet striking terror in her heart. Her knees began to shake.

He was so tall. And big. More than twice her width, the top of her head only reaching the centre of his broad chest.

By the Maker, how could this be? She was nothing, no one… a scavenger from a frontier desert world. She was worth so little not even her own family had thought to keep her. Why should she, Rey, have captured the attention of this male, second in charge of the First Order?

He reached out a gloved hand, the tips of two long fingers brushing against her temple. The leather was soft, warm from his flesh.

A series of images flashed before her eyes: her earliest memory as a child, screaming at a ship disappearing into Jakku’s blinding sun, fat tears rolling down her cheeks, wanting her parents to _come back._

Memories of her old boss, Unkar Plutt, and her simmering resentment as he cheated her of yet another meal ration.

The time she fought off a Plutt foot soldier with her staff when he’d come looking for an easy victim. She had firmly disabused him of that notion.

Next was the incident on an abandoned star destroyer, where she’d slipped and fallen hundreds of feet, miraculously catching herself just in time but not before the cracked glass of a broken porthole sliced open her shoulder.

So many, many memories of being alone in her makeshift home, marking her wall, counting down the days until her parents returned. So many images of empty plates and dry water bottles, a reminder she’d been hungry and thirsty all the time.

Rey whimpered. Her eyes filled with hot tears- she who’d long ago decided crying was for the weak. They did nothing, changed nothing.

“Please,” she whispered. She felt stripped, naked.

“Don’t be afraid,” that dark voice murmured. “I feel it too.”

She blinked, willing the tears away. Joined to him in an unnatural way, Rey instinctively reached out with her mind. For a brief moment, it was as if she’d peeked behind a heavy a curtain. She touched the black abyss of Kylo Ren’s soul, brushing against loneliness so profound not even he acknowledged it anymore.

He was _lonely?_

Lord Ren quickly pulled back his fingers, ending their connection. That gloved hand was now a fist by his side.

No one else realised what had happened. Somehow, she’d turned his mind trick against him.

“This one,” he told Phasma, his electronic tone clipped. “Have her cleaned up and taken to my chambers. You have one hour.”

He swept out of the room, leaving behind a stunned group.

Phasma snapped her fingers and ordered two storm troopers to lead Rey to a private chamber. The young girl looked desperately at her friends for help but they could only watch her be taken away.

Rey knew she was in real trouble when she saw pity even in Jessika’s hard blue eyes.

Kylo Ren hesitated at the doorway to his own chambers.

What he’d felt that evening was impossible. The girl… she had an awareness of the Force. He’d sensed it inside her, intuitive and untrained but clear as blown glass.

 _Impossible,_ he told himself again.

Luke Skywalker was supposed to be the last Jedi. As his light flickered out, hidden as he was somewhere in the far reaches of the galaxy, so ended the Jedi line.

True, Leia Organa, leader of the Resistance, was Force-sensitive as well, but she was no Jedi master.

This girl was a nobody from nowhere. A Force-intuitive vagabond, underfed and malnourished, her soul just as hungry as her stomach.

And yet… Kylo sensed the capacity for great power inside of her. He couldn’t help but wonder if fate had dropped her at his feet. One look was all it had taken and he’d known.

She was the one.

But the one what? Had the universe gifted him with an apprentice? To what purpose?

Or had the dark side called his attention to her existence? To extinguish her grimy spirit? Left alone, she had the potential to become a problem.

Was it fate that had Snoke demand he procreate, producing a potential… what? Rival? Heir? And then this girl inexplicably showed up, the perfect candidate.

Snoke had seen something. Known something. Was there a prophecy involving Kylo’s progeny? Would they be his demise or his salvation? Looking at his own relationship with his parents, the outlook wasn’t promising.

Kylo grimaced. Why was he remembering his past? It was infuriating! Those things were behind him. Granted, his hunt for Luke Skywalker meant some recollections were by necessity never far from mind, but the memories floating up to torment him now were maudlin. Meaningless.

He placed a gloved hand on the door of his chambers. Back to the girl. She needed to be his focus at least for a little while.

He could kill her, of course, but that seemed wasteful. Now that he knew she existed, he should at least try to turn her, corrupting the vessel that housed such clear will.

He’d tasted her loneliness; her whole life all she’d known was rejection. He felt the first stirrings of compassion and stamped down hard on those feelings. He could use her needy emotions to his benefit, though he was long out of practice trying to be anyone’s friend.

The strangest thing about his discovery was that Kylo had no desire to tell Snoke about the girl. What did that mean?

Nothing. He was merely investigating the incredible anomaly of finding a Force-sensitive urchin under his own nose before he reported back to his master.

Impatient with himself, Kylo stepped into his quarters. It was a clean, antiseptic space, all dark surfaces with few personal effects. His living area connected to a separate sleeping chamber and attached fresher. Knowing she was there waiting made him feel like an intruder in his own home.

Kylo was brought up short when he saw the girl, surprised by what Phasma had managed to achieve in an hour.

The server had caught his attention on deck, but once he’d walked away he’d been hard put to say exactly what arrested his gaze. He’d begun to think it was all Force manipulation, a connection of essence rather than flesh. But now, he became painfully aware he was very much a man in his prime and she… she was beautiful.

Her face was delicately boned with prominent cheekbones and a stubborn little chin. Her rosebud lips were pink, shiny with balm, her big eyes bright hazel, green pools with a brown centre. Her lashes were long and sleek, her brows delicately arched. Chestnut red hair was pulled atop her head in three little buns, tied with candy pink ribbon.

Gone was her brown tunic and instead she wore a negligee of breathtaking delicacy. It had thin black straps that wound around her neck and bare back, the fabric of her brief dress a pink so sheer he could see the even pinker areolas of her small, firm breasts, its skirt ending just below the curve of narrow hips. Her bare legs were thin but shapely, her skin the pale honey of the girls he’d flirted with as a teenager when he’d visit Luke on Tatooine, golden freckles dusting her cheekbones and shoulder blades.

Kylo clenched his jaw. There he went again, reminiscing about his kriffing childhood.

Phasma had secured the girl’s wrists to the stark black metal bedhead and she sat with her back pressed upright against it, her legs straight on his black sheets, thighs glued firmly together, her little feet bare.

Kylo felt a rush of desire that astonished him, his manhood swelling beneath his robes, growing thick and heavy.

Breaking his reverie, the little kitchen hand stuck out her chin and demanded, “What are you staring at?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> -Rose Tico and her family came from a mining colony which was taken over by the First Order.  
> -Paige Tico in canon was a gunner on the Resistance bomber Cobalt Hammer.  
> -Jessika Pava in canon was a Resistance pilot and part of the Blue Squadron. As a child, she was captured by pirates and sold into slavery.  
> -Kaydel Co Connix in canon rose to the level of lieutenant in the Resistance.


	3. Bad Guy

The moment Rey spoke, she regretted her words. She wasn’t ready to die just yet and she had a feeling Kylo Ren was not one to tolerate sass.

She’d had little over an hour to ponder her reversal in fortunes- whether for better or for worse, it was to be seen- and her mind was still in disarray.

After leaving the viewing deck, Phasma ordered Rey stripped and dunked in some kind of viscous blue fluid that promptly rendered her hairless from the neck down. Though that left her feeling like a skinned Kowakian monkey-lizard, afterwards she’d enjoyed her first real shower in the biggest, nicest fresher she’d ever seen. Rey and her kitchen friends were normally afforded a sonic clean once a week. To have actual hot water pour out and massage her thirsty skin felt like a dream. It was the best part of the whole ordeal.

After scrubbing her crevices with perfumed gels that made her head spin, Rey found herself tucked into an adjustable chair. She had her nails polished for the first time in her life, and what a useless endeavour that was. She couldn’t understand why anyone would bother painting fingernails with clear gloss. Hands were for work.

Next, her dark hair was soaped and rinsed and brushed until it shone like glimmersilk, and Rey had the revelation that there were red highlights in her straight locks. She’d been asked how she liked her hair done and when she mentioned her standard utilitarian three buns, the spherical floating droid tending to her locks had wrapped the sleek little coils in ribbon. Ribbon! She looked ridiculous.

The garment she’d been given to wear was so scandalous Rey couldn’t face herself in the mirror. Just when it looked like she might rip the gauzy creation into rags for use by the cleaning staff, Phasma appeared. The chromium plated captain warned Rey that her only other option was to lie naked as she waited for Lord Ren to arrive.

Rey chose the négligée.

They’d tied her up under threat of blasterfire, Phasma being canny enough not to trust anyone who looked as furious as Rey.

Hence, when Kylo walked in, she’d erupted like a miniature lava stream on Mustafar.

As soon as she’d demanded to know what Kylo Ren, warlord of the First Order and bogeyman across the known galaxies, was looking at, Rey felt her throat shrivel up in fear. Her hands twitched, reflexively reaching for a quarterstaff she’d lost weeks ago.

The monster said nothing, his very stillness making her even madder. Caution had long ago flown out the door.

“Where am I?” she demanded. “Is this your room?”

Kylo paused and she briefly wondered what reward her insolence would bring. His measured answer surprised her.

“You are my guest.”

He lifted a hand and the restraints around her arms clicked open. Rey tried to hide her astonishment as she rubbed sore wrists.

This changed nothing. She was still at his mercy.

“You want to kill me,” Kylo said, the electronic bass of his voice mildly amused.

“That happens when you’ve been kidnapped by a creature in a mask,” Rey snapped even though her instincts screamed for caution.

He considered her for a moment before reaching up and removing his helmet.

Rey was stunned by the face revealed to her. She had expected a beast, a scarred and twisted apparition. Instead… he looked almost too young to be called a man.

 _Sithspit,_ was he actually handsome? He had an extraordinary face, long and angular with wide cheekbones and full lips. His eyes were dark, intense pools, glimmering amber rather than the black of night. His dark hair was long enough to touch broad shoulders, curling and waving in a way that made Rey’s fingers itch for a boar-wolf brush.

His mobile mouth twitched and she drew back the inch or so that remained between her and the bedhead. Her pulse fluttered.

When he spoke, she was immediately reminded of the evil lurking behind that pretty face. “You know I can take whatever I want.”

“What do you want?” she asked stiffly.

Kylo shrugged. “A breeder to produce a child of my bloodline.”

Rey glared at him. “You have no right to me or my body.”

“No?” His question was cold.

He lifted his gloved hand and reached out with his mind. Rey could feel him inside her thoughts, searching, incisive.

“You’ve been so lonely… so afraid to leave Jakku,” he said almost tenderly. “At night, desperate to sleep, you’d imagine an ocean. I can see it. The blue of the water.”

Rey tried to pull away, to clear her thoughts.

“You want to believe your parents are coming back, that your abandonment was a mistake.”

“Get out of my head!” she shouted, eyes wide and wet. “I won’t be used by you.”

Kylo reached toward her again. “We’ll see.”

This time Rey met his gaze and pushed back. Suddenly the tension in her head cleared. A flicker of surprise crossed Kylo’s face and she pressed her advantage, reaching into his thoughts. What she found confused her.

“You… you’re afraid you will never be as powerful as Darth Vader!”

Kylo Ren flinched, dropping his hand. “What did you say?”

Rey frowned. “Why do you care about him?”

His face twisted in savage fury and again his hand came up. This time his use of the Force was so intense her back slammed against the headboard. He was probing not just her mind but her body too.

Rey felt powerless. A tear leaked out of one eye.

At last Kylo’s expression shifted, growing disappointed. He released his hold on her.

She drew a shaky breath as he asked, “Were you cleared by medbay?”

She clasped trembling hands, shaking her head. She hated him, but she didn’t want to face further repercussions of his anger.

Kylo made an impatient sound.

Despite herself, Rey asked, “What is it?”

“It infuriates me when basic details are neglected.”

She frowned. That was not a complete answer.

He turned to leave the room and she called out, “What do I do?”

Kylo paused. “Stay where you are. The droid from medbay will probably require you lie down for some of the tests.”

Rey squirmed, not liking the sound of that.

A few minutes later, a fully articulated medical droid appeared. Rey was grateful she was alone in the room as it took scrapings from between her legs along with several vials of blood.

After it left, Kylo reappeared. “You can leave my bed now,” he snapped, as if she was the one who’d insisted on being there.

Rey flushed, but despite wanting to escape this encounter she did not move.

“What is it?” he demanded.

“I… I’m not dressed,” she told him, knowing he’d reach into her brain and find the answer if she didn’t respond.

Amber eyes flicked over her prone body in that insubstantial-as-air negligee.

She shivered, wondering anew why he’d chosen her. He was obviously not attracted to her.

Kylo removed the cowl from across his shoulders and draped it over her body before turning to leave. Instantly she felt better, less exposed. She was almost tempted to thank him.

Wrapped in thick, dark fabric, Rey ventured out of Kylo’s bedroom. She found him seated on a couch, reading a datascreen as if nothing had taken place between them. She shuffled over and took a chair as far away from him as possible. He continued to ignore her.

What now?

Rey spent the next several minutes looking around Kylo Ren’s ready room, not that there was much to see. Clean lines and a few electronic necessities.

There appeared to be a squashed black helmet on a raised podium, and Rey wondered if it was a memento from a previous battle. His own or an enemy’s, perhaps?

Beside it was a rough piece of equipment, a crudely assembled construct of exposed wires and activators with a couple of vents extending from its top. The whole thing was around ten inches in length. She wondered why the vents were there- to prevent overheating? She longed to slide the switch on the thick handle to see for herself.

“Don’t touch it.”

Rey jumped. She’d been meandering quietly through his room, her small hands clutching Kylo’s cowl close around her body.

“I’m pretty good at fixing broken things,” she said artlessly. “Can I have a look?”

The expression on Kylo’s face confused her. He seemed both annoyed and amused.

“It’s not broken. I like it that way.”

Rey stared at him for a moment when realisation hit her. “Oh. Is that your laser sword?”

“Lightsaber,” he corrected her before returning to his datascreen.

She found her way back to a seat. After a while, she twitched and shifted in place, unused to having nothing to do. Usually she was being worked to the bone.

Just when she thought she would scream with enforced inactivity, there was an electronic chirp announcing an arrival.

Kylo waved a hand and his chamber door swooshed open. That was a handy trick.

“Well?” he snapped at the medical droid.

“Results have been finalised for subject 3105, designation Rey.”

Rey sat up, eyes wide open.

“Your prognosis was correct, sir. Subject is infertile due to prolonged malnutrition.”

Rey felt a strange swelling in her chest. This was good news. Kylo Ren required a breeder and she was incapable of bearing a child. And yet… there was sadness there too. She should have known the dried veg-meat strips and packets of polystarch powder Unkar Plutt paid out were doing her body irreparable harm.

_Don’t be ridiculous, Rey. When would you have had the chance to start a family? Who’s going to fall in love with you?_

The droid was still talking, going into detail about ovulation and the thickness of mucous membranes, when Kylo interrupted his report.

“Yes, fine, but how do we rectify the issue?”

“It will take time,” the droid said in his emotionless electronic tone. “A prescribed diet of fresh meat, fruit and vegetables. Subject will need to gain roughly ten pounds which means increased carbohydrates…”

“Create the dietary plan,” Kylo snapped. “Make sure the cook receives it under my express authority. I want a meal prepared immediately.”

“Yes, Lord Ren,” the droid said, leaving his chambers with jerky movements of metallic limbs.

As soon as they were alone again, Rey faced Kylo, the knuckles gripping his cloak turned white. “You’re not letting me go.”

He sighed. “Do you ever stop asking questions?”

“Why not choose someone else?” she asked desperately. “I’m underfed and scrawny. You deserve better than me.”

His mouth twitched, as if amused by her blatant attempt to denigrate herself. “Think, little grub. Why would I keep you around?”

She paused. “My… my abilities.”

“Very good,” he smirked. “I knew you’d get there in the end.”

“It was a fluke,” she lied. “I have no power.” When in fact she’d never felt more powerful after penetrating his mind.

“Wrong again,” he said coolly. “What you need is a teacher.”

Rey stared at Kylo, the hard, handsome face and cold, shimmering gaze. “What does _that_ mean?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> -Kylo Ren’s red crossguard lightsaber used to be Ben Solo’s blue lightsaber. After his fall to the dark side, it was modified by Kylo. Its crude assembly and unstable condition was evidence of Kylo’s inexperience in constructing such a weapon.


	4. Toy Soldiers

Kylo requested the room next to his be prepared for Rey.

It was empty anyway and didn’t take the droids very long. He suspected no one onboard the vessel was willing to stay beside their notoriously hot-tempered warlord. He probably had the entire corridor to himself, though he’d never thought about it before.

He also contacted Captain Phasma to provide Rey with a fresh wardrobe. He didn’t need the distraction of her practically nude body. Even the sight of her wrapped in his cloak was doing something to his insides.

Rey wandered through her new room looking bewildered, black fabric dragging on the floor. “Is this all mine?”

He nodded, wondering what kind of accommodations she’d had previously. He told himself he didn’t want to know. Except he did.

“Haven’t you had your own room before?”

She looked at him, a strange expression on her face. “I’ve been alone most of my life. On Jakku, I lived inside the shell of an Imperial Walker.”

He remembered an impression of blistering hot winds and burning sand. “And here?”

“There were eight of us in our quarters,” she told him, peering out a sloping crystalline window to gaze at a milky galaxy of stars. “Just beds, no windows or tables or chairs. Drove me crazy.” She turned back to look at him. “Don’t you know how we’re treated?”

He heard the challenge in her tone and gritted his teeth. This girl… how was it she so easily riled him? It was better not to respond.

“What will I do here?” she asked.

He sighed internally. For such a little thing, she sure could talk. Kylo didn’t think he’d had this much conversation with anyone since he was a padawan.

This time, he didn’t rebuke himself over the memory.

“Do?”

“What are my duties?”

He sat down on the lone armchair in the corner of her room. Her chambers were smaller than his with a bed, study desk, reading nook and attached fresher, though probably palatial in her eyes. “You heard the medical droid. You need fattening up.”

She flushed, the pink of her cheekbones highlighting a smattering of freckles. “If you want me healthy, I’ll have to exercise some time.”

Kylo was reluctantly impressed. Already his little grub was testing her boundaries. “You will only exercise when you’re with me. Otherwise, I expect you to remain inside your room.”

She looked unhappy. “Could I have a datascreen with something to watch or read?”

Quite the negotiator. “Is that what you used to do back home?” he asked curiously.

She nodded. “I would search through the wrecks of starships for salvageable parts and trade them for food,” she told him, sitting on the end of her new bed. “Sometimes I found old data chips that told stories of the galaxy outside of Jakku.”

“Did you wish to escape?”

She looked at him sharply, as if checking to see if he were mocking her. Kylo felt his chest tighten at her pitiful display of pride.

“Yes and no. I was waiting for my parents to come back for me.”

He frowned at this but let it go. There was a knock on her door and a young woman entered with a tray.

Rey saw her and brightened at once, but the darker haired girl had already spotted Kylo. She sat the tray down and rushed away.

“A friend?” he asked, thinking it might be advantageous for him to know such things.

She looked disappointed at the girl’s abrupt departure but nodded. “Her name is Rose.”

Kylo had had enough small talk. A wave of simmering antagonism swept over him, clearing his mind of extraneous concerns. He pointed at the tray, indicating she should proceed.

Rey approached the desk, eyeing the domed silver cloche as if it might bite her. She pulled it back to reveal a steaming hot meal; grilled bantha steak, fresh vegetables and some kind of fine black grain cooked into a sticky consistency.

She knotted his cowl around her neck and gripped heavy silverware as if unsure how to use it. She ate slowly to begin with but her movements rapidly picked up speed. Small moans of pleasure came out of her with every subsequent mouthful. She didn’t even seem to know she was doing it.

At one point Kylo intervened, plucking the fork from her little fist. She gave him a look that would have been appropriate on the face of a wild beast denied its hard won kill.

“Slow. Down.” He stared until she nodded acquiescence. He returned the fork to her, shaking his head. “You’re a little savage, Rey from Jakku,” he murmured, unsure if she could hear him over the chewing.

He stayed with her for longer than he’d expected.

“What do we serve our soldiers at mealtimes?”

General Hux halted his latest report on troop incursions. “What?”

“You heard me,” Kylo said. It was the next day and he was still bemused by the way Rey had inhaled her dinner.

Ugly red splotches appeared on Hux’s face and neck but Kylo did not care. His little grub was right. Any leader worth their credits should know the day to day running of their personal kingdom.

“I can’t tell if you’re being serious,” he snarled.

“I am,” Kylo intoned.

Hux turned to Phasma as if asking for her help.

“Troop rations contain synthetic protein strips,” she answered promptly. “Roasted or grilled. Also a combination of grains for energy.”

“And the serving class onboard this vessel. How are they fed?”

Phasma shrugged. “We are less concerned about maintaining their strength compared to the troops. They are provided blocks of gelatinous synth proteins as food.” The captain paused. “But if it’s your girl you’re concerned about, Lord Ren, she worked in the kitchens. I’m sure she would have snuck herself more palatable food here and there.”

In an instant, Hux’s expression changed from irritation to something more cunning. “And which girl is that?” he asked.

Kylo waved a hand, as if dismissing the conversation. Phasma was entirely too astute. “Continue with your report, General Hux.”

“No, no, Ren. I insist you tell me. After all, the Supreme Leader did request I help out in your latest undertaking. I would be pleased to announce that the first step of your mission has been a success.”

Kylo told himself to exercise restraint by _not_ Force choking the general. “I will speak to Snoke myself,” he snapped. “Suffice to say I have found a girl who meets the necessary criteria.”

A sense of unease stole over him at Hux’s gloating expression. Something told him the other man wouldn’t hold his tongue for long. Kylo needed to talk to his master soon or risk looking like he had his own agenda for the girl.

And that would be dangerous for both of them.

“Master.”

Kylo Ren knelt before the looming hologram of Supreme Leader Snoke, grateful Hux was not in attendance.

“You have found a fertile womb, my boy?” Snoke purred, leaning forward on his throne. His zeyd-cloth robes swept around him, coarse fabric rustling audibly with every movement. It was said the deep maroon colour invoked the appearance of old blood.

“Master…” Kylo found the words he must speak sticking to his throat.

The powerful creature before him drew back and Kylo knew he’d been exposed. He could feel the sinister, sickly presence of Snoke’s presence clouding his brain.

“What’s this?” Snoke hissed.

“Destiny, master. I have found a Force-sensitive female amongst the crew.”

“I knew it,” Snoke muttered.

Still on one knee, Kylo raised his head. “Master?”

“I sensed a disturbance in the Force. I hoped it was old Skywalker showing himself at last, but I should have known better. This felt… different. A new awakening.”

Kylo was furious. Wasn’t this something he should have been told?

He told himself to guard his thoughts. Snoke must not see his impatience.

“Have you lain with her?” the Supreme Leader demanded.

“No,” Kylo confessed. “She is malnourished and requires time to build up her strength. Only then will her body be an appropriate receptacle for my seed.”

“A Force-sensitive human,” Snoke murmured, as if he hadn’t heard Kylo’s response. “Well done, my apprentice. Clearly the dark side is with you, guiding your hand.”

Kylo drew a shaky breath. This was a better reception to his announcement than he could have hoped.

He reflected on the years of training that had brought him to this place, the ties he’d severed, the pain he’d endured. He was so close to the depths of the dark side that he longed for, the supremacy that he sought.

In reality, he did not care about ruling the galaxy. To him, such a thing was meaningless. The First Order was another tool at his disposal, no more and no less. What he wanted was for every crack and crevice of his fractured soul to be filled with the power of the dark side, for the longing that he felt to be sated.

“A child produced by a union between you and such a female would be a thing of wonder,” Snoke murmured, almost to himself. “A new form of life. A higher power.”

Kylo frowned. His sense of unease about impregnating a woman had only increased since his previous meeting with the Supreme Leader. The knowledge that his son or daughter would be handed over as a sacrifice to Snoke’s purpose only heightened his disquiet. It felt… wrong.

It had been a long time since Kylo was this conflicted.

Just last week he decimated a village on Jakku, a spiritual commune run by an old friend of the Resistance, Lor San Tekka. During his interrogation, the old man had dared presume to call out Kylo’s lineage. For his insolence, Kylo ordered the death of every man, woman and child present.

The incident had barely registered on Kylo’s conscience. He was merely annoyed to find himself no closer to Luke Skywalker’s hiding place.

And yet he now struggled to give up offspring that did not exist, a babe he did not even want. What was going on with him?

It couldn’t have anything to do with the female he’d chosen as the mother of his child, could it? Surely not. He’d known Rey for only a handful of minutes.

A handful of messy, frustrating minutes.

He’d meditated even longer than usual in the Force after their time together.

“Beware, my apprentice. Pride and complacency will prevent you from fully accessing all you are capable of in the dark side of the Force.”

Kylo dropped his head, not wanting to look into his master’s gleaming gaze. Snoke saw too much as it was.

“Yes, master,” he said quietly.

“The power of the dark side must grow stronger with your every test.” Snoke paused, and Kylo felt his gaze pierce the top of his head. “Perhaps you find my assessment unfair?”

“No,” Kylo said, looking up once more. “My only wish is to please you.”

“Enough.” Snoke waved a long-fingered hand in a move that was at once graceful and eerie. “You have your mission, my young apprentice. When you produce a child with the girl, this accomplishment alone will far surpass anything else you have done.”

“Yes, master.”

“Rise and go forth. The dark side is with you.”

Kylo tried to respond but the holo-vid projector had already flickered out, leaving him cold and alone in a dark room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> -Bantha’s are a species of large, hairy mammal from the desert planet Tatooine. They are bred on many worlds for their steak, butter and hides for clothes and furniture.  
> -Gelatinous protein blocks are mentioned as prison food in canon.


	5. Blackbird

Her room door was unlocked. How stupid was Kylo Ren?

Rey ventured into the pristine white corridor outside her chambers. A shiver travelled down her spine as she spotted Kylo’s door just five steps away from hers.

He was keeping her close.

She didn’t like it. Didn’t like how he made her feel. Uncertain and turned around. Hot with anger one moment and vulnerable the next. He made her blush, as if she cared what he thought of her or anyone else. His opinion mattered little. He was a monster, after all. Nothing more than a dark creature who fed on the blood of others.

She had seen the death and misery First Order troops created. Wasn’t she a slave to him, ripped from her previous life first to be treated as a kitchen hand and now claimed as his concubine? Kylo was not seperate from the evil being done by the First Order. They were one and the same.

And yet… no one had asked questions about her life like he had last night. No one had shown any interest in her until him. Not even Rose, busy with work and concerned about Paige, had been so inquisitive.

How could that be?

Rey told herself it was all an act to lull her into a false sense of security, to make her compliant when the time came for them to… for him to… _Ech._

She made a face as she considered the prospect of sleeping with the amber-eyed young man who’d plucked her from a line-up of slave girls. The thought of his big, broad frame and leather gloved hands on her body was repulsive. Disgusting. Awful.

Then what was this strange prickling in her skin? This tightening in her muscles? The ache coiling low in her belly.

Nothing. It was nothing. Fear or anxiety. She was being a coward and needed to toughen up.

Rey shook her head to clear it. She walked carefully down the corridor, wondering if she really was free to be outside her room or whether there were guards posted a little further down.

Surely Kylo didn’t trust her to simply obey his commands. Why would he?

She had to stop thinking about him. All night, she’d tossed and turned on a bed bigger than what she was used to, her mind filled with memories of their encounter, going over every question and answer they’d traded.

She still had his cowl. It smelled like him- warm and spiced.

 _Kriff!_ Enough already. She needed to escape this place. A galley kitchen with a hundred filthy pots covered in Kabatha guts was preferable to Kylo Ren’s attention.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a mechanical squeal. It sounded scared. Rey hesitated, and then she heard the sound again, this time softer. She made a decision and took off running towards the mysterious noise.

The first thing she saw as she turned the corner was a little orange and white droid, the dome and sphere that made up its head and body spinning frantically in all directions.

The second thing she noticed was even more incongruous- a stormtrooper without his helmet.

“Hey! What are you doing?”

The boyish face was sweaty, as if this trooper had been working hard. His expression went from surprised to confused to panicked as she drew closer.

“I’m sorry,” he exclaimed, reacting to the anger on Rey’s face. “I lost my helmet in the transporter. I need to get a new one.”

Rey pulled up short, unsure how to respond to his apology.

The trooper seemed to realise this and his manner changed. “Wait. Who are you?”

The stormtrooper looked her up and down, clearly confused by the way she was dressed. Rey was not in military uniform or servers brown garbs. She had no idea where Phasma had found these clothes.

She wore a white v-necked tunic with short sleeves and snug white britches that ended just below the knees. Over this was a sleeveless white coat that flowed in strips to her calves, kept in place by a narrow leather belt. On her feet were soft leather boots. Her hair was back in her preferred three buns, thankfully sans ribbon, and she’d wrapped a spare strip of leather cord around one wrist to approximate the dingy cloths she used to protect her skin from Jakku’s burning sun.

No, she was not military, but she didn’t look like a servant either. It was the nicest outfit she’d ever worn.

Rey ignored his question. “What are you doing to this droid?” she demanded.

“Nothing,” the trooper exclaimed. “I’m trying to keep it safe!”

“Safe how?” Rey asked suspiciously.

As if sensing an ally, the droid zipped over to her side. Rey leaned down to inspect it for damage. Except for a bent antenna, the droid appeared unharmed. It certainly had plenty of fight left, beeping furiously at the trooper.

To most people, the beeping would have sounded like mechanical gibberish, but Rey had picked up the communication patterns of droids during her time scavenging. She couldn’t help but grin as it spewed a particularly eloquent tirade of insults.

“It’s alright,” she said soothingly, placing a hand on its curved head.

The droid quieted down.

“What’s going on?” she asked it.

“You’re going to believe a machine over me?” the trooper demanded but Rey continued to ignore him.

The droid issued a series of beeps and Rey’s frown deepened. “Classified? Really?” she said disbelievingly. “Well, me too. My life’s a big secret.”

“The droid was on the ground during my last mission,” the stormtrooper said, as if wanting to prove his worth in the discussion. “He slipped onto the transporter with me. I’ve been watching over him ever since.”

“Am I seriously supposed to believe that?” she asked. It was certainly an odd story. Why not turn the droid over to the First Order’s engineering room?

The trooper seemed taken aback by her withering doubt, but at last he said, “I don’t answer to you.”

It occurred to Rey the situation might be beyond her. “You okay?” she asked the droid.

It beeped affirmatively. “Fine. Then I’m gonna go.”

She turned around to retrace her steps to her room since it was a little late in the day for a jail break when she heard the whir of the droid’s sphere across the ship’s floor.

“Why are you following me?” Rey asked, turning around.

The droid beeped again, pitifully. He told her he was alone. He had no one else.

“What about this guy?” she replied, looking back at the befuddled stormtrooper.

The trooper ran up to them. “What are you doing taking my droid?”

All of a sudden, the droid extended a live electrical wire and pressed it against the trooper’s leg, shocking him from head to toe.

“Ow! Hey! Come on!” he spluttered.

“Doesn’t look like he thinks you own him,” Rey said with a smirk. She looked around, concerned about the time. “Look, you two, I don’t know what’s going on but I need to get back. If Kylo Ren finds me away from my quarters…”

“That’s who you are!” the trooper yelled, making Rey wince. “You’re the kitchen girl that he picked to…” His words trailed off, his caf-coloured skin paling. “I mean, sorry,” he muttered.

Rey grumbled an oath under her breath. “Believe me, no one is sorrier than me,” she snapped.

The stormtrooper gave her a strange look.

“What?” Rey demanded. “Why are you looking at me that way?”

The droid whistled low, it’s big circular black eye revolving from one human to the other.

“How would you like to escape Kylo Ren and the First Order?” the trooper asked, his dark eyes earnest.

Five minutes later Rey had the stormtrooper and droid ensconced in her room. She decided it was the smarter thing to do rather than risk being discovered by any passers-by.

The droid rewarded her kindness with his name: BB-8.

The trooper, as it turned out, was only known as FN-2187. He was one of many children conscripted into the military by the First Order and had no memory of his birth name.

“But you can call me Finn,” he said, almost shyly. “That’s what Poe called me.”

BB-8 gave a loud beep.

Rey looked from the droid to the trooper. “Who’s Poe?”

Sighing heavily, Finn explained, “Poe Dameron is the droid’s master. During my last mission, I helped Poe escape capture by the First Order.”

Rey stared at the stormtrooper. “Why would you do that?”

Finn’s expression reflected deep self-loathing. “My unit was ordered to kill women and children, wiping out an entire habitation. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t murder innocent people in cold blood.”

Rey bit her lip, feeling both horrified and sorry for him. She’d never before considered that others within the First Order may not have been happy with their lot, and certainly not a stormtrooper. She waited for Finn to continue.

“I saw an opportunity and decided to help Poe. He told me he was part of the Resistance. He wanted me to keep BB-8 safe.”

“Oh?” Rey looked curiously at the droid.

He chirruped in agreement and then kept beeping.

“What did he say?” Finn asked eagerly. “It’s frustrating not being able to understand him.”

“BB-8 says he’s on a secret mission. He needs to do something onboard this space vessel.”

Finn blinked. “That can’t be right. I’ve been trying to get us out, for kriff’s sake!”

BB-8 began beeping furiously, extending the live wire once more.

“Woah,” Rey said, holding up her hand to play peacekeeper. “He didn’t know your mission, BB-8.”

The droid backed off much to Finn’s relief.

“No wonder you two haven’t been getting along,” Rey said cheerfully. “You’ve probably been working at cross purposes.”

Finn groaned, running a hand through his cropped dark hair. “What’s this task he has to complete?”

BB-8 produced a sound so rude even Finn knew what it meant. The droid wasn’t talking.

Rey shook her head. “Look, leaving that aside, I need to know if you were serious about getting off this vessel.”

“Absolutely,” Finn declared.

“Great. So what’s your plan?”

“Um, deploy an evacuation pod?” he offered.

Rey nodded slowly. “Right, and what will prevent those monitoring the ship from seeing us flee?”

“We’re gonna need a diversion,” Finn said.

Rey’s heart was starting to sink. “Any idea what kind of diversion?”

Finn gave her a look that told her he was clueless. “That’s where you come in,” he said hopefully.

Rey’s hands itched for her old staff so she could smack the trooper across the head. “Are you kidding? That’s your great plan? It’s not even half a plan!”

“I know, I know,” Finn said, looking abashed. “Why do you think I’m still stuck here?”

Rey glanced at her new datascreen. According to regulated hours, it was nearing dinner time.

“Look, you gotta go. Let me think about it, okay? Maybe between my mechanical know-how and your knowledge of the ship we’ll be able to work something out.”

Finn beamed and his smiled warmed Rey’s heart. It looked like she’d made another friend, though she wasn’t sure whether she could trust this one just yet.

“Come on, BB-8,” Finn said as he exited her room.

The little droid burst into a barrage of beeps and whirrs.

Rey planted her hands on her hips. “What do you mean, you’re not leaving?”

How was she going to explain the appearance of a droid to Kylo?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> -Finn or FN-2187 served under Phasma as a cadet. He was once ordered to clean out an infestation in the tunnels with other Stormtroopers. Finn secretly smuggled the tunnel bats out of the base rather than kill them.  
> -BB-8 always belonged to Poe Dameron, whom he accompanied on his T-70 X-wing starfighter.   
> BB-8 once played matchmaker for Resistance pilot Theo Meltsa and technician Peet Deretalia. The droid sabotaged Theo’s X-wing so he had to ask Peet for help and they spent time together. Peet was aware what the droid had done for them.


	6. November Rain

Rey wasn’t afraid of him.

It had taken Kylo the whole day to work out why the skinny girl with big eyes intrigued him. He wasn’t so deluded to think it was all about her Force-sensitivity.

She was fearless. No, that wasn’t right either. She refused to allow fear to rule her.

Rey would have made the perfect Jedi. Fortunately, he was there to twist her path.

They stood in the middle of the training arena he used when sparring with his knights or practicing by himself. The Knights of Ren had been deployed into the four corners of the galaxy to continue the search for Skywalker, following any crumb of possibility no matter how outlandish, while he remained stuck on _Finalizer._

Kylo had changed into his training gear, a sleeveless black tunic and loose black drawstring pants. Rey had chosen a beige top and britches. Her expression told him she was mystified by the current situation and didn’t like feeling that way.

“How do you defend yourself?”

She blinked at the unexpected question. “What do you mean?”

“I can imagine there were many who took advantage of you on Jakku, alone as you were.” Her face darkened and he ignored a responsive pang of emotion. “How did you keep yourself safe?”

Rey bit her lower lip, as if trying to work out his agenda. At last, she answered, “I used a quarterstaff.”

He suppressed smile at the thought of this slim, small girl brandishing a staff.

“Makes sense. It’s easy to make one from scrap. You can bludgeon or hit an opponent without the enemy getting too close so they physically overwhelm you.”

“I’m strong enough,” she snapped. Whatever else she had to say died on her lips as her eyes traced the musculature of his exposed arms.

Kylo was aware of their size difference; he was almost three times her width. Inexplicably, his mind wandered to the mechanics of what they needed to do in the bedroom. For the first time he realised it might be a problem.

She would be tight. Maybe too tight. He had to make sure she was very wet before he tried to penetrate her. His loins swelled, a reaction both unexpected as it was annoying.

He waved his hand and the door to a large locker of weapons slid open with a loud rattle. Rey stared at the array of swords, knives, whips and chains. There were lesser known, more exotic items as well, and in amongst the collection was a quarterstaff.

Rey reached for it without being told. She hefted the six-foot pole, weaving it in a loose figure eight, testing its weight.

“It’s made from Mandalorian steel,” Kylo told her. “Strong enough to repel a lightsaber strike.”

“It’s beautiful,” she murmured, admiring intricate whorls carved into the shaft.

“Two generations ago there was a Sith Lord who used a saberstaff,” he continued, considering the array before choosing a pair of scimitars for himself. The curved swords allowed him to wield one in each hand, their hilt a jewelled blue. “Darth Maul had a double bladed lightsaber that took down many a Jedi.”

Rey’s lips tightened. “Why are you telling me this? Is this your idea of teaching me things?”

Kylo rolled his shoulders before getting into a fighting stance, one foot forward. “Come on then, scavenger. Show me your worst.”

From the corner of the large arena, BB-8 chirped.

Kylo spoke to the little droid with unexpected gentleness. “We’re only sparring.”

“Speak for yourself,” Rey said sourly.

She ran toward him, her expression fierce, the quarterstaff cutting through the air. She swept her weapon toward his legs but he was ready, leaping over the metal staff with unerring grace. As she lifted the staff to strike another blow he spun toward her, scimitars moving at odds with each other. One blade forced her weapon to the ground with a metallic clang while the other found her throat.

“Point,” he murmured.

Rey flushed, eyes sparkling. “I didn’t realise this was a competition.”

Kylo stepped back, simultaneously releasing her neck and weapon. “Everything is a competition, little grub.”

“My name,” she snarled, “is Rey!”

She dropped to the ground, kicking out with one leg, aiming for his shin. He dodged the attack and she leapt up, driving her staff toward the middle of his chest even as he reoriented herself.

Clever. She was better than he’d expected. Except he was Force-driven in all he did, aware of her movements seconds before she was herself, looking into the future to see what she would do next.

A scimitar thrust upwards, knocking away the end of her staff before it connected and cracked his ribs. He spun, quick and deadly, landing a blow against her buttocks with the flat of his other blade.

Rey yelled as she turned to face him. The flush on her cheeks had deepened to scarlet.

“Point,” Kylo said coolly, secretly entertained by her fury.

“How dare you?” she demanded.

“Why did I win?” he asked.

She straightened, turning her quarterstaff into a whirling dervish, approaching him with her chin jutting out. He crossed his scimitars and thrust them into the heart of her spinning weapon, knocking it out of her hand.

“Point,” he intoned.

“Shut up,” Rey muttered, rubbing bruised knuckles.

“I ask again, why did I win?”

She picked up the fallen staff and leant on it, struggling to breathe. “You’re too fast.”

“Am I?” he queried, tossing a scimitar ten feet in the air before unerringly catching it by the pommel.

Reluctantly, she asked, “Aren’t you?”

“Use the Force, Rey,” he said calmly. “Use your rage and hurt and pain. Access those instincts that have saved your life before.”

She frowned. “Is the Force making you quicker?”

“No,” he said, slipping into another battle stance. “It’s giving me eyes where there should be none.”

He deliberately slowed his approach, giving her time to raise the quarterstaff to stop the downward slice of a scimitar.

They sparred for an hour or so, long enough to work her muscles and make her sweat. Rey was able to disarm him only once, her pleasure at doing so making him fight back a laugh. For a whole minute she was a smug little grub.

He fought to control himself. Kylo Ren did not laugh. He did not smile or make pleasant conversation. He was too driven by the dark side for frivolity.

“You told me to use my feelings,” she said as they walked back to their rooms, BB-8 whirring happily ahead of them. More than one startled stormtrooper stopped to stare at an unhelmeted Lord Ren but he ignored them. “It only made me sloppier. I had to get my emotions under control to be of any use.”

“Treat your feelings like fuel,” he told her. “Anger, fear, aggression, they flow quickly to join you in a fight. You might as well use them, harness the darkness.”

A startled look crossed her face but she said nothing.

“What?” he snapped, so accustomed to her overabundance of words that he’d stopped reading her mind.

“You’re training me in the dark side,” she said uneasily.

“Yes,” he replied, his tone suggesting she was an idiot for not realising it before.

“What if I don’t want you to?”

They had reached her door and Kylo flicked his hand, sliding it open. He walked inside and she followed behind more slowly. BB-8 chirped, settling contentedly into a corner.

“I will decide what you’re taught,” he said coldly.

She shook her head. “I don’t understand you at all. Why train me in battle?”

He faced her, taking in the delicate face now glowing with sweat and exertion. “Immersing yourself in the Force requires a warrior’s path, whether dark or light.”

“Still, why bother? Why spend all this time with me?” The question came out plaintively.

“Rey…”

She flinched. Was it the first time he’d called her by name?

“Have you considered that your position as my consort could be more than an imposition?”

Her lower lip quivered. “What do you mean?”

Those eyes, clear and bright and capable of looking straight through the shields he’d built around himself, were fixed on his face.

“We could be a partnership.”

Rey was already shaking her head, denying him. The sound of her room buzzer made her jump.

Kylo looked at her for a moment longer before swiping his hand to open the door.

A young blonde entered with Rey’s dinner tray.

“Jess,” Rey said in some surprise. “Where’s Rose? Is she okay?”

The new girl put down the tray and gave Rey a sugary smile. “Oh, she’s fine. I just wanted to see you for myself.”

Rey frowned. “Really?”

The server turned towards Kylo, dark blue eyes assessing his sweat-soaked frame with a kind of low cunning that he’d forgotten young girls were capable of.

“Lord Ren,” she murmured, bowing low, rounding her shoulders to reveal a significant amount of cleavage.

The girl must have modified her garb. He hadn’t seen that much of the female figure since the flesh palaces of Coruscant, or from Rey last night.

“My name is Jessika,” she said, her voice dripping sweetness. “If you need anything at all please let me know.” She departed with a toss of blonde curls and one last, lingering look.

Rey appeared frozen in place. She hadn’t even acknowledged her food.

“Interesting friend,” Kylo offered.

“She’d not my friend,” Rey snapped.

He shrugged, briefly wondering what the problem was.

Kylo considered returning to their previous conversation but finally chose to let the matter lie for now. He wasn’t sure why he’d decided to frame their enforced connection as a partnership. He hadn’t meant it, of course. It was all manipulation.

Except everything he’d said was unplanned, spilling out of his mouth as if the words belonged to another man.

“Jessika is prettier than me,” Rey spoke out of the blue. There was a pained expression on her face.

Kylo was annoyed by this new line of conversation and did not respond.

“Also, she’s obviously more receptive to your… physical needs.”

He raised his brows. “I’m surprised you’d sacrifice another person in your stead. That’s very much of the dark side.”

“What?” Rey gasped, outraged. “I wouldn’t have said anything if Jess hadn’t just rubbed her breasts all over you!”

“That girl did not touch me,” Kylo responded coldly.

“I wasn’t being literal and you know it,” she hissed.

His temper flared. “Have you taken leave of your senses?”

“There’s just no talking to you!”

“Particularly if you’ve become delusional,” Kylo agreed.

Rey made a sound like a grumpy Tauntaun, a particularly ornery species of snow lizard on Hoth, and turned her back on him. She sat down to eat dinner, savagely cutting into her steak.

He had a sudden flashback to a particularly acrimonious interaction between his strong-willed mother and loud-mouthed father. He’d forgotten how complicated relationships between men and women could be.

Kylo wasn’t quite sure what had just happened, but he was no longer certain he had the upper hand.

In his corner, BB-8 beeped in consolation.

“Right?” Kylo muttered, drawing a filthy look from Rey.

He felt sorry for the droid. They were both in the bad books now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Kylo’s choice of dual scimitars with a jewelled blue hilt is my homage to R.A. Salvatore’s dark elf hero Drizzt Do’Urden. These were Drizzt’s weapons of choice.  
> -Dark Rey had a dual bladed red lightsaber like Darth Maul in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, though hers flips open on a hinge.  
> -Kylo’s words to Rey about anger, fear and aggression was Yoda’s warning to Luke.


	7. Into the Unknown

_Stupid Kylo._

Rey tossed and turned on her comfortable bed, a second night’s sleep ruined by Kylo Ren. She should have been exhausted after the day she’d had, but her mind was too busy processing things.

For one, BB-8 had refused to go with Finn. After arguing a while, Rey told the stormtrooper to leave the droid with her. She’d been just in time as Kylo had shown up not long after, looking tired around the eyes.

Of course, he’d noticed the droid. Rey truthfully informed him she’d found BB-8 wandering the corridors and then asked whether she could keep him for company.

Kylo allowed it, not even commenting on the fact that she’d left her room. He must have been pretty confident about security on the vessel.

She’d been shocked when he spoke to the droid, understanding the nuances of BB-8’s clicks and beeps better than even herself. Seeing her reaction, he explained he’d grown up with two droids who were more family than servants- a protocol droid and a R2 unit.

Fascinated, she’d pressed him for details, but he’d ended the discussion with a shake of his head, halting that brief exposure to his humanity.

Her sparring session with Kylo was a revelation. He looked different in casual clothes, more relaxed, less imposing. She was so distracted by the breadth of his shoulders and the musculature of his arms that she’d been hard put defeating him.

Disarming him that one time was an incredible feeling, the reluctant admiration on his face praise enough. The brief stirring of the Force had been a pleasant buzzing in her brain.

And then he’d suggested they could form a partnership. An alliance.

Rey shook her head even as she lay in bed. Never!

He was no farm boy from the back end of Tatooine. This was Kylo Ren, right hand to Supreme Leader Snoke, the First Order’s most savage enforcer.

He was trying to seduce her, make her believe she could trust him. All because she was Force-sensitive. He didn’t actually want _her_.

_Stupid Jessika._

Rey had seen Kylo’s pretty amber eyes on Jess as the curvaceous blonde bent over, her lush breasts nearly tumbling out the front of her smock. All of a sudden Rey wished the Mandolorian quarterstaff was back in her hands, though whether to smack Kylo across the head or take Jess out at the knees she wasn’t certain.

She also wasn’t sure why Jessika’s flirting had made her so angry. She should have been pleased another female was trying to steal Kylo’s intense attention away from herself. The man was too much to handle.

Only she’d almost been enjoying her time with him until Jess had arrived. It was the other girl who’d reminded her life was far from simple.

Rey gave up on sleep, sitting up and reaching for her datascreen. Maybe one of the holo-vids on galactic trade and commerce would put her to bed.

She glanced over at BB-8 and was surprised to see lights flickering across his spherical body. “What are you doing, BB-8?” Rey asked.

It was the first time she’d spoken to him since he dared commiserate with Kylo over her temper tantrum.

The droid didn’t respond.

Rey sighed. “Come on, BB-8. I’m sorry I ignored you.”

A mournful beep emanated from him.

“Diagnostic? What’s wrong?” She slipped out of bed and knelt beside the droid. Rey pushed on a circular orange striped panel, popping it open to reveal BB-8’s components. She tapped a few keys, brow furrowing as she worked. “There’s something in your system that doesn’t belong,” she murmured. “It’s gumming up the works. A program of some kind…” Rey allowed her words to fade as she accessed the problematic datafile.

All of a sudden, BB-8 gave a loud, involuntary beep, his round black eye swivelling to face the centre of her room. A holo projection burst forth, the image two feet in height.

It was a holo-vid of an older woman, her dark brown hair threaded with grey and worn in looping braids across the top of her head. Her face was both beautiful and regal, lined with lessons learned the hard way, her dark gaze strangely familiar. She wore pristine white robes.

The woman spoke, her voice sweet yet husky. “Help me, Ben. You’re my only hope.”

Just as abruptly, the hologram disappeared.

“Hey!” Rey protested. “There was more to that message.”

BB-8 burst into a voluble series of beeps and trills.

“Top secret? Oh, please.” Rey shook her head at him. “Finn and I are risking our necks helping you.”

He beeped again, cautiously.

“Of course you can trust me!”

BB-8 gave a sheepish trill.

“So your mission is to deliver the holo-vid. But who’s Ben?”

An earnest beep came from BB-8 and Rey groaned. “Why would you know? That would be way too easy,” she grumbled. “Alright already,” she added quickly as the droid started protesting once more, “I’ll speak to Rose when she brings my breakfast in the morning. She can ask the other servers if there’s a Ben amongst their numbers. Finn will have to check with his stormtrooper pals.”

Rey gave BB-8 a pat before returning to her warm bed.

She tried to drift off but the face of the woman lingered in her memory. “Who was she, BB-8? The woman in the holo-vid?”

The droid’s response was short and to the point.

“General Leia Organa,” Rey whispered, turning the name over in her mind. “Wait. Not _the_ Leia- the one who led the Rebellion against the Empire? I thought she and Luke Skywalker were myths!”

Several cheerful beeps came from the droid.

“I’d love to meet her too,” Rey said fervently. “It makes sense she’d be involved in the Resistance against First Order.” Something else occurred to her. “I wonder who this Ben person is. He must be pretty important for Leia to risk sneaking you onboard a First Order vessel just to deliver a message.”

But BB-8 had no more information for her.

Rey lay back down, her thoughts in a whirl.

“Ben who?”

It was almost a week later and Finn was finally able to sneak away from under Captain Phasma’s eagle eye to meet up with Rey.

She had already spoken to Rose but her friend wasn’t able to help. There was no one named Ben amongst the hundreds of servers onboard the spaceship.

Rose was also apologetic about Jessika’s new role as Rey’s dinnertime server. It appeared Rose had been indiscriminate about sharing the news of Rey’s new situation. She’d announced Rey now had her own room, a brand new wardrobe and special meals under the auspicious of Lord Ren himself.

While most people reacted with appropriate wariness, Jessika had turned as a jealous as a green-eyed Loth-cat. She’d gone behind Rose’s back and traded meal rations with cook just so she was placed on Rey’s serving detail. Rey didn’t know what to think about that.

During the week, her lessons with Kylo progressed as he taught her the finer points of weaponry. Two days in, he’d taken away the quarterstaff and given her a sword instead. It was heavier and more unwieldy, but there was a skill to using the single blade that intrigued her.

Kylo moved so gracefully with his own sword it was almost a dance, a deadly harmony of thick-muscled limbs and unerring grace. Unlike the quarterstaff, however, she was woefully unskilled when it came this weapon. It showed as she returned to her room covered in bruises every night.

Still, Rey was grateful for the physical exercise. She was pushing her body like she used to in Jakku when she had to climb fifty-foot rusted junkers to find salvage to trade. That wasn’t enough for Kylo, though. She could see the frustration on his face when she tried to rely on her reflexes instead of the Force.

She was deliberately avoiding the pull of that magnetic power, consciously sidestepping what he was trying to turn her into. Rey wasn’t sure if he knew she was doing it, intentionally stifling her Force use. He’d realise it soon enough if he didn’t already- not much got past him.

Kylo hadn’t brought up a partnership between them since the last time, and for that she was grateful. Rey knew her answer should be no. No, no, no. And yet… a small, miniscule, barely negligible part of her was intrigued.

She who’d always been alone and vulnerable was being offered the protection of a powerful man, one she was struggling to hate despite glimpses of his temper.

It was a relief to look into Finn’s friendly face and be with someone who was in the same position as she was.

“I don’t know who Ben is,” Rey said, her fingers massaging a particularly colourful bruise on her forearm. Kylo said it would heal faster that way. Or, she could use the Force to recover even more quickly just like him.

Nerf-herder.

She saw Finn’s gaze track her actions but thought nothing of it. “I had a friend check with the servers but they don’t know any Bens. I thought you could ask the troopers?”

“Yeah, sure,” Finn said distractedly, a strange expression on his face.

“What?” she asked.

He looked at her awkwardly. “Rey, is Lord Ren hitting you? Where are these bruises coming from?”

To his surprise, she burst out laughing. “Oh, no,” she began, and then paused. “Well, actually, I suppose he is. Kylo’s teaching me to fight.”

“You call him Kylo?” Finn asked, disbelieving.

Rey grew flustered. “What else should I call him?”

“The bad guy,” Finn snapped, sounding upset. “And why is he training you in combat?”

Rey shrugged, looking away. “This is primarily a military vessel,” she replied, as if that explained everything.

She was conscious nobody apart from Kylo Ren knew she was Force-sensitive. It felt like too big a revelation to tell just anyone. Rey hadn’t even confided in Rose. The strange thing was, Kylo was the only one she could really talk to about it.

Rey liked Finn, instinctively trusting him, but she didn’t know him very well. And he was a stormtrooper, after all. What if he had his own agenda behind all his anxious words?

“Finn, if you really wanted to escape the First Order, why wouldn’t you just slip away during your next mission? I mean, wouldn’t that be easier than involving me in a complicated escape plan?”

She saw hesitation as he considered his reply. Rey hoped he chose to be honest since he had too open a face to lie.

“There’s someone else,” Finn blurted out.

“Who?” Rey asked, taken back. That wasn’t the response she’d expected.

“Another trooper,” he replied miserably. “Her name in Jannah and she’s like a sister to me. I couldn’t leave her behind.”

“So when we escape…”

“I’ll bring her with us.” Finn ran a hand through his cropped hair, helmet in hand. “I’m sorry, Rey. I should have told you. Jannah is… fragile. She’s addicted to a new strain of spice called stim.”

Rey felt her heart twist inside her chest. “How would she even get her hands on spice?”

“You’d be amazed at the amount of black market dealings going on inside the military ranks,” Finn said grimly. “Those of us who can’t handle the violence sniff a vial of stim before our boots hit the ground. It makes the killing seem like a dream sequence.”

“Have you…?”

“Once.” Finn dropped his head. “It only gave me nightmares. What’s the point of that?”

“Oh, Finn.” Unable to help herself, Rey hugged him.

After a second, he hugged her back, clinging like a child. “I’m not strong like you, Rey. When we first met, I hadn’t actually lost my helmet. I took it off during battle because I couldn’t breathe. Jannah calls them panic attacks.”

Rey stepped back, her hands still on Finn’s shoulders. “You are strong, Finn. You’ve survived until now. Hold on a little longer. I think I have an idea about how to get us off this spaceship.”

He nodded, swallowing hard. “And I’ll ask around if anyone knows a Ben. I’d like to help BB-8 complete his mission, to play my part for the Resistance.”

Rey smiled encouragingly, trying to look more confident than she felt. This escape they were planning was becoming more and more complicated every day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> -The few words we hear from Leia for Ben are an echo of the words Luke hears through R2-D2 in Star Wars: A New Hope, which was a message Leia intended for Obi-Wan Kenobi.  
> -‘Spice’ is the Star Wars version of drugs. Poe Dameron used to be a spice runner. ‘Stim’ exists in canon as a form of spice and its name comes from the word stimulant.


	8. Love the Way You Lie

“Why are you staring, my Lord? Is something the matter? Do I displease you?”

Rey’s sweet, clear voice broke Kylo’s dark reverie. He was amused by her hopeful tone.

“Not at all,” he murmured, deliberately playful. “You’re quite the succulent little grub.”

She blushed, dressed as always in her beige blouse and britches.

Two weeks had brought about much change. The small hand usually wrapped around the pommel of a sword or staff was already more assured. Her body was no longer so painfully thin, firm with increased weight and lean muscle. She was bright eyed and rosy cheeked, and she’d grown more comfortable with him, her smile dazzling when she deigned to bestow it.

He sensed her reluctance to trust him, her refusal to accept he was anything more than a soulless killer. And maybe she was right. In the end, what had he achieved except the death of countless creatures?

Kylo shook off the gathering despair he’d been experiencing more and more frequently. He returned to his purpose- turning Rey to the dark side.

Today, the large locker remained shut. His lightsaber hung from his belt and in his hand…

“Do you know what this is?”

“A weapon,” Rey said, her gaze flicking uninterestedly from his open palm to the mirrored wall behind him.

Even though he knew it was an act, Kylo grew annoyed. “Not just a weapon. A lightsaber.”

That got her attention. Rey’s eyes jerked back to stare at the sleek black hilt. “Really?”

“No,” he said, drawing a confused look from her. “We raided an underground weapons manufacturing plant a few months ago. The enterprising machinist had his people making synthetic lightsabers.”

Kylo tossed the hilt to Rey and she caught it gracefully.

“Is that even possible?” she asked.

“Not really,” he replied, pleased by the intelligence of her question. “It’s weak and unstable. Try it.”

Rey’s frown deepened. She looked at the pommel in her hand as if it were a Moraband serpent, able to come to life and bite her.

“It’s good to fear what you don’t know,” he murmured.

She gave him an irritated look. “I’m not afraid,” she lied before pushing the slider switch.

A narrow red beam shot out from the lightsaber’s hilt, thinner than anything he’d seen from a real lightsaber, and instead of humming it crackled and hissed unsteadily from base to tip. Oscillating skeins of plasma writhed up and down the length of the beam like hundreds of transparent snakes.

“I… I don’t like it,” Rey said, her voice sounding strangely childlike.

Kylo understood, his skin crawling at the weak imitation of a powerful symbol. In truth, it was an abomination.

“It uses a red synth crystal to approximate the kyber crystals in real lightsabers.”

“Like yours?” she asked, indicating his weapon.

He held out the hilt of his saber before turning it on. The beam projected with that familiar oscillating hum, more solid than the one she held, clearly more lethal in its ability. Two more shorter red beams poured out of lateral vents, creating a crossguard.

Kylo remembered the night he’d created his lightsaber, bleeding his hatred and agony into the kyber crystal until it cracked, turning the blue gem red. It was the cracked crystal that now made his saber beam unstable but the weapon hadn’t failed him yet. It was a part of him, a realisation of his twisted soul.

“Your fake saber will be good enough to practice with.”

“Why should I?” she snapped. “I don’t want to be a part of the dark side of the Force and I certainly don’t want any part of you.”

Rey’s rejection hit him as sharply as a slap across the face, the pain he felt resurrecting dead memories. Like a holo-vid reel, the screams of former classmates rang in his ears. It was his dark will that had hurt them.

Kylo remembered the night he awoke to find Luke standing over him, lightsaber ablaze. Panicked and afraid, he drew his weapon, collapsing his hut over them both. Kylo emerged from the wreckage furious that Skywalker would dare try to kill him.

His pure rage accessed the dark side of the Force, power so monumental it rapidly grew outside of his control. He watched helpless as a red storm gathered over Skywalker’s Jedi temple, bolts of lightning razing it to the ground and slaughtering everyone inside.

That was the day he earned the moniker Jedi Killer.

“What didn’t you want?”

Kylo came out of his daze, his heart hammering inside his chest. “What?” he gasped.

Rey had turned off her false lightsaber, her expression concerned. “You said, ‘I never wanted this’. Wanted what, Kylo?”

“Shut up,” he snarled, and she drew back at once.

He felt the need to break something, his lightsaber still throbbing in his hand.

He lifted the weapon above his head and twisted its hilt so the red blade pointed downwards. Putting the Force of the dark side behind the blow, he thrust the saber into the floor. Power rippled out of him like a crashing wave causing the arena door to shake, the ground cracking open. The mirrored walls that surrounded them shattered as one.

Rey screamed, falling to her knees with her hands over her head. Kylo reacted in a split second, throwing his body on top of hers, sheltering Rey from shards of steel and glass.

As soon as the debris had settled he checked on her. She pushed him away, upset and afraid.

“Why did you do that?” she demanded. “What’s the matter with you?”

He said nothing, breathing hard.

He didn’t know what was wrong, but it was growing worse every day.

The door slid open and a pale-faced Hux appeared. He looked around at the carnage and then at Rey on the floor. But all he said was, “The Supreme Leader demands to see you.”

“Master.” Kylo was back in his cloak, cowl and battle helmet, on his knees before Snoke’s holo-vid projection.

Snoke’s gravelled voice was cold. “Hmph. The mighty Kylo Ren. When I found you, I saw what all masters wish to see: raw, untamed power. And beyond that something truly special- the potential of your bloodline. I hoped you would be the new Vader. Now, I fear I was mistaken.”

Kylo felt panic constrict his lungs. “Master, I've given everything I have to you, to the dark side...”

“Enough!” Snoke snarled. “Take off your ridiculous disguise.”

Kylo removed his helmet with shaking hands and lifted his wounded gaze to Snoke. 

“Yes, there it is,” the dark lord sneered. “Your face betrays you. You have too much of your father's heart still in you, too much of your mother’s spirit.”

Kylo lashed out, still raw with the dark side of the Force that had come pouring out of him. “I abandoned my family. When the moment came, I didn't hesitate!”

“And look at you,” Snoke hissed, slamming his fist on the thick black stone of his throne. “The deed has split your spirit to the bone. You are unbalanced, influenced by a girl who has never even held a lightsaber, never been trained! You are failing me, apprentice. Where is your focus? Your commitment?”

Kylo took a shaking breath. “I am committed. The dark side is everything to me.”

“And yet today you lost control,” Snoke said, shaking his head in disappointment, “distracted by thoughts of your past. I hoped you would be the one to bring about a true reign of darkness, but alas, you're just a child in a mask.”

Kylo felt sick to his stomach, helpless before his master’s contempt. “I plan to corrupt the girl and turn her to the dark side. She trusts me a little more every day. With her on our side, we will be unstoppable.”

“You have compassion for her.” Snoke’s single statement sounded like a death knell.

And Kylo realised for the first time that he was in serious trouble. This was dangerous ground on which he trod. “No, master, you’re mistaken. I seek to manipulate her.” 

Snoke was silent, his gaze as cold as ice. When at last he spoke his tone had returned to its emotionless quality. “Perhaps I was wrong to confine you to this ship. It has made you soft. You require bloodshed as your constant companion.”

Kylo looked askance, certain that whatever Snoke had in mind did not bode well for him.

It was five hours later and Kylo Ren stood in the middle of an abandoned factory on Hosnia Prime. The space was eerily quiet for a zone in a core world.

The _Finalizer_ was banked just outside the planet’s orbital pull and it hadn’t taken him long to touch ground in his TIE Fighter

The factory complex used to be run by the galaxy’s biggest arms manufacturer, but Czerka Arms had since been disabled by the First Order. Snoke wanted the place back up and running. Apparently Hux knew of exactly the right people to make that happen.

But first, Kylo needed to slay a beast.

In retaliation for the demise of his business empire, it was rumoured that Mozeen Czerka had dropped a particularly lethal creature in amongst the silent machinery and cold foundries. If he couldn’t benefit from his own factory then no one should.

Kylo reflexively clenched his empty hands. His lightsaber was back onboard the _Finalizer_ , a further punishment for his loss of control. Kylo would have to face his prey without a weapon.

There was a whisper of a sound.

The first hit came at Kylo sideways, spinning him around with the sheer power of its impact. He wiped away blood from his mouth.

The creature emerged from the shadows, more horrific for being lit by a yellow moon. Three meters high, its massive shoulders and chest were encased in jagged plates of primitive armour. It took Kylo a moment to realise the beast wore the bones of past conquests.

The pink slope of its face was a nightmare of scars, its skin wet like a leaking sponge. Its mouth was a gaping, razor-toothed black hole that could have swallowed a man with one bite. A two-foot claw was strapped to its thick-knuckled left hand, and it was the makeshift weapon that came slashing for Kylo.

He jumped back but was not quick enough. He was hit by a glancing blow, slamming him backwards. This was the second time in as many seconds that the thing had caught him off guard and suddenly he knew why.

The creature was somehow cut off from the Force, utterly detached from the field of heightened sensitivity from which Kylo was constantly drawing information about his surroundings. The intuitive sensory abilities that he took for granted in any normal battle were simply not there. It was as if he’d gone blind.

It occurred to Kylo that Snoke might actually want him dead.

Kylo sprang at his opponent, closing the half-meter gap between them in less than a second. The thing responded exactly as he hoped, by lunging up to meet his advance. Its mismatched arms swung and clawed at the stale factory air, its voice screeching in a guttural language he’d never before heard.

If he didn’t have the Force to rely on, then he had to end this battle as quickly as possible. Kylo grabbed the creature by the throat with both hands, hoisting up and squeezing until he felt the deep tendons of its neck beginning to give. There was a wet click and a sudden glut of warm, thick fluid began spurting out of its throat.

Jet black blood.

The sight gave Kylo no satisfaction. The creature’s screaming became louder. Executing a perfectly balanced spin, he slammed it to the floor. The thing’s head drooped on a broken neck. Kylo raised his foot and planted his heel on the exposed throat, ready to pulverise its airways.

As the creature died, he met its eyes. Disbelief, fury, pain.

Involuntarily, Kylo slackened his foot. With blinding speed the beast burst upright, its bladed hand striking, sliding across his torso, severing cloth, skin and muscle. Unbelievable pain provided him a moment of total clarity. Kylo drove his fists through the bulbous sacs of the creature’s eyes and into its brain, ending the fight. Brutal and effective.

Lord Ren stood on shaky feet, feeling nothing. This was not a moment of triumph but a test he had survived.

Then again, survived might be too strong a word to describe the final result.

Blood gushed from his wound, turning his vision spotty. Kylo slapped the comm unit strapped to his hip as his awareness stuttered and failed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My inspiration for the creation of fake lightsabers comes from Joe Schreiber's 'Star Wars: Maul- Lockdown' novel. Fabulous read and highly recommended.


	9. Everything Has Changed

Something was wrong with Kylo.

Rey struggled to finish her dinner. Worry had her stomach tied up in knots.

The one good thing that came out of Kylo’s absence was being able to shut her door in Jessika’s disappointed face. The blonde’s clothes were becoming more and more risqué, not that Kylo seemed to notice.

Kylo. Where was he?

The look of smug satisfaction on General Hux’s face when he’d announced Kylo’s meeting with Supreme Leader Snoke was concerning. The pale slug of a human male clearly had no love for Kylo. Some kind of testosterone fuelled rivalry, no doubt.

But then Rey had noticed Kylo’s expression as he walked her back to her room. He looked… tormented. And her heart had gone out to him.

Rey bit her lip. She was being ridiculous! She owed the warlord nothing. He was her captor, after all, trying to turn her into something she didn’t want to be. She had no desire to learn the dark side of the Force.

She wanted to be Rey. Just Rey.

But Kylo was looking after her, feeding her, spending time with her. It scared Rey to realise of everyone onboard the spaceship, she knew him best. That didn’t mean she liked him the most… except it did, a little.

She had become familiar with him, his moods and behaviour. His dry sense of humour that had her laughing while he remained sober-faced. His quiet spells where he only wanted to sit while he watched her eat or tinker with BB-8.

There were some things she would never get used to; the overwhelming physicality of his big, hard-muscled body, both graceful and savage, the touch of long fingers whenever he repositioned her sword or stance, the kindness he bestowed on a little orange and white droid.

She had begun to recognise his dark moods in the shadow that crossed his face. He was so sensitive. This powerful, ruthless male was as brittle as fire-blasted clay, and that realisation was discomforting.

She’d hurt him today. Rey had seen the look in his dark, expressive amber gaze when she rejected him. She winced recalling her own words.

_I don’t want any part of you._

Was his loss of control her fault? When he destroyed the room with a blast of the Force, could she have avoided that outcome simply by being sweet to him?

The idea that she might have some kind of influence over Kylo Ren, right hand to Supreme Leader Snoke, was both terrifying and intoxicating. It was a responsibility she did not want.

Rey heard noises in the corridor and she buzzed open her room door. For a moment all she could see were several stormtroopers under the auspices of General Hux. It took her a second to realise they were carrying the body of a man.

She felt her heart stop beating.

“Kylo?” she whispered.

The group did not hear her as they shuffled their way into Kylo’s ready room. For a moment she hesitated, but at last Rey slipped in behind them.

General Hux had an odd look on his face; at once victorious yet nervous. “Let the surgical droids deal with him,” he snapped to the troopers. They quickly left the scene.

Rey was left alone with the articulated droid from medbay who’d given her the initial examination and a floating, spherical black droid, shining steel instruments already extending from its body. Her presence remained unacknowledged.

Kylo was laid out on a narrow camp bed in the middle of his study area. The better to treat him, she supposed. The medical droids had brought in their equipment ahead of his arrival.

Something was dripping off the side of Kylo’s unconscious form. Blood.

_Maker, help him._

Kylo’s cloak and cowl lay on the floor, and she watched the articulated droid begin removing his helmet.

Rey stepped forward at once. “Let me do it.”

Her hands touched the hard mask, fingers searching until she located and released its hinged mechanism. She slipped it off, her heart aching to see his face colourless and clammy, black hair damp with sweat.

The droid, meanwhile, had not been idle. Tiny rotors buzzed as it sliced off Kylo’s thick ribbed shirt and leather belt. Rey went to collect his lightsaber hilt only to realise it was not there. She then spotted the roughly built pommel in its place on the podium.

Why didn’t he have his weapon on him? She felt an irrational flash of anger for such a foolish mistake.

Rey gasped as fabric fell away revealing a deep, gaping slash across his torso, the ragged wound still oozing blood. So much blood.

The articulated droid was hanging a bag of red fluid on a thin metal stand, tugging on wires and tubes. The spherical droid checked the wound, sliding wafer thin implements inside of Kylo. It twittered and blinked, communicating with the articulated surgery droid.

_Excessive bleeding. Severed muscles and sinew. Loss of consciousness with patient entering hemorrhagic shock. Pulse fading._

Rey stood listening to this litany of horror. It hit her like the stinging sands of a dervish- Kylo Ren was dying.

“Get away from him!” she yelled at the droids.

The floating sphere backed away, but the articulated droid turned its lit eyes to face her. “Time is critical if the patient is to survive his injuries.”

She ignored the shiny silver gaze. Rey felt a sudden calm come over her. She didn’t understand it but inherently knew she was doing the right thing.

She placed her hands on Kylo’s torso, inches away from the terrible wound that had nearly severed him in half. She closed her eyes and focused.

Rey could feel it… the light. It had always been there, guiding her. A powerful ally protecting her, helping her stay alive and well when she had nobody. She stepped into its stream, no longer fighting the flow, coming alive inside its current.

She focused that power on Kylo, on his body, his terrible injury. She willed the Force to replenish blood cells, knitting together muscle and sinew, restoring torn flesh. If it could ease bruises, then the Force could heal wounds.

Rey opened her eyes, her face radiant with energy that surged through her. Kylo’s wound had changed, closed up, now showing as a thin pink sliver. Before her very eyes a silvery glow shimmered on his torso until his flesh was completely whole.

Rey let go of the thick channel of the Force she’d used. It had worked!

Her head felt light, heart thrumming inside her chest.

She looked up into deep amber eyes. He was awake.

“Rey…” Kylo appeared shocked. “What did you do?”

She smiled at him, and then an intense wave of exhaustion rendered her unconscious.

Rey awoke in bed. It was dark, the lights dimmed, and she was glad. She could do with another few hours sleep.

Her pillow felt funny, firmer than usual. She turned her head and her lips connected with something warm. Pliant.

“Are you awake?”

She gasped, trying to sit up. Her head spun and she collapsed back into Kylo’s arms.

They were in his bed, she realised, her forehead resting on his bicep. He wore drawstring pants and little else. She was dressed in his shirt, her legs bare. She should have been cold but the heat he radiated was keeping her warm.

“Why am I here?” she asked, her voice a tired husk.

“You fainted,” he said, bending his head closer to hers.

Rey wasn’t sure, but it felt like he’d pressed his nose into her hair. Her belly quivered.

She was too tired to fight him. Besides, she decided she liked being held.

She had no memories of being sheltered in someone else’s arms and this was a superior experience. She was smaller and slimmer than him, and it felt like he’d enveloped her, one big arm wrapped around her shoulders, her body lying on its side and pressed close to his, his thigh thrown over her hip, her feet tangled beneath his legs.

He was doing more than holding her, though. His fingers were carding through her hair, blunt nails stroking her scalp.

She shivered in involuntary pleasure. How strange to discover that she enjoyed being touched.

“Are you cold?” he asked quickly.

“No,” she replied.

Her hands rested on the muscles of his chest, that broad, defined slab of flesh she had long wanted to pet like a furry Bantha. Despite her tiredness, the reality of touching him made her feel buoyant. Alive.

Or was that remnants of the Force?

“Kylo…” To her dismay, she felt him tense against her. All she’d said was his name. What was wrong with that? She continued, “Are you okay?”

“See for yourself, little grub,” he murmured, taking her hand and sliding it lower so that she went from pectoral muscles to his ribbed stomach.

Rey felt a blush heat her face and she was grateful he wasn’t looking straight at her. His skin was smooth, unblemished, as if there had been no wound to begin with.

“You saved my life,” he said, a note of wonder in his voice. “How did you know to heal me?”

She gave a tiny shrug. “It felt right.”

He sighed, stroking her hair. “You must be careful, Rey. What you did required more than just channelling the Force. You gave up your own life energy to restore my body.”

She looked up at him, hazel eyes wide. “Was that wrong?”

Kylo shook his head. “No, sweetheart, but it can be dangerous. If you give up too much, you may lose your own life.”

All she’d heard was his endearment. Sweetheart.

Rey looked away from his face, tender with concern. Tears turned her eyes glossy.

She knew without a shadow of a doubt that he cared for her. Somehow, somewhere, the two of them had become connected.

And she… she felt for him too. She had stepped in to save him heedless of the consequences. Even as he spoke, explaining what she’d done, she realised her life was a price she was willing to pay for his protection.

Revelation hit like a sandstorm.

Stupid girl. She was such a stupid moof-milker.

She loved him. She, Rey of Jakku, garbage picker and orphan, had fallen in love with Kylo Ren, the most powerful warlord their galaxy had ever seen.

This was so very, very bad.

Fearing her head might explode, Rey asked, “How were you injured?”

Kylo took his time to reply. “The Supreme Leader sent me on a mission to kill a bloodthirsty creature.”

Rey frowned into his chest. “Then why didn’t you take your lightsaber?” He did not answer and she huffed loudly. “You weren’t allowed, were you? Was it punishment for what happened in the training room?”

“The Supreme Leader was teaching me a lesson,” he murmured.

“The Supreme Leader is a sadistic snack-donkey,” she snapped.

Unexpectedly, he laughed. “He is very wise, Rey. And incredibly powerful.”

“And that makes it okay for him to put your life at risk?”

She was angry- with Snoke, with Kylo and with herself. With this whole ridiculous situation.

Kylo shifted, turning toward her, his arm propping her up. She looked into his face, the corners of his plush mouth twitching in amusement. “My fierce little scavenger,” he murmured, his deep voice like velvet.

It was so easy to do. Rey leaned forward, pressing her lips to his.

For one breathless moment the galaxy seemed to freeze. And then Kylo was right there with her, laying her down, kissing her deep and true. His tongue teased her lips until they parted, allowing him in. The kiss evolved, just like they had, becoming something more. Hotter, fiercer, sweeter.

Rey whimpered as Kylo consumed her. Something new had been birthed in her spirit, something hungry and desperate. She wanted more. He lifted his head, ending the kiss. Rey made a sound so raw with emotion she grew embarrassed.

Kylo looked at her in wonder, and then he smiled. A real, honest, human smile, so wide it created dents in his lean cheeks, so happy it changed his sombre features, so perfect it shattered her already fragile heart.

Rey loved Kylo Ren. They would carve that on her tombstone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> -Moof-milker is an insult used by Han Solo.  
> -Snack-donkeys are mentioned in ‘Monsters and Aliens from George Lucas’.


	10. What About Us

Rey was upset with him.

Kylo had insisted she go back to sleep after their revelatory kiss. As much as he desired to slide the shirt she wore off her body and kiss his way down golden skin, she was too exhausted for that.

He wanted their first time to be perfect.

The next day, he’d awoken before Rey and carried her sleeping form back to her own room.

He felt strange that morning. Different. Lighter. His thoughts clear and vibrant. And all he wanted to do was focus on Rey.

The look on Hux’s face as he strode into the _Finalizer’s_ control room was deeply satisfying. The general had clearly written him off and Kylo couldn’t blame him. He’d been lying in a pool of his own blood when they’d found him.

It troubled Kylo that his one emotion when the creature’s claw sliced open his torso was that of regret. But regret for what?

Snoke had not immediately called for an audience with him. Typical, really. The Supreme Leader would have been quick to rebuke had he failed in his mission to kill the creature or returned obviously injured.

Kylo wondered if Snoke knew he’d been Force-healed and that it was Rey who’d performed the act.

He stared past a nervous lieutenant by the name of Mitaka who was reporting on the latest incursions made by First Order’s forces. As the man droned on, Kylo’s thoughts drifted.

Rey’s innate use of the Force had revealed a level of power that was unprecedented. Apart from himself, Kylo had never felt that much raw Force flowing out of someone. And she’d done it for him.

Now that his little grub had accessed the Force in such an overwhelming way, there would be no turning back. She’d been resisting his efforts to tap into her Force-sensitivity, not wanting to become something she did not trust or understand, but she’d blown the door wide open through this one act.

Perhaps he’d been going about this the wrong way. She was a novice, uninitiated. Without a Jedi to guide her in their methods, her instinct would be to channel her emotions with the flow of the Force. Hadn’t she already done so?

True, it was compassion that caused her to heal him, a sentiment not quite attune with the dark side, but it was still emotion. Rey was only human and it was inevitable she would lash out in anger or distress at some point. All he had to do was wait.

Kylo nodded to himself. He would continue to train her but without harping on about fear and rage. Let her make those mistakes herself. Rey would forge her own path to the dark side of the Force.

He walked away from Mitaka mid-sentence, unable to stand being separated from Rey any longer. He became impatient when he saw she wasn’t in her room.

He reached for her presence, easily locating her. She was deep in the maze of corridors and as Kylo drew closer he heard Rey’s voice. She was speaking with another.

Fragments of words drifted back to him. _No such person… must be a mistake… focus on the plan._

He turned a corner and conversation dried up. Kylo was surprised to see a stormtrooper standing beside Rey. He’d expected one of her server buddies in a brown smock.

BB-8 beeped happily when Kylo appeared. He’d always had an affinity for droids, possibly because they lacked all those messy human emotions.

The stormtrooper stood straight as he too spotted Kylo. With an awkward bow, he walked away.

Kylo reached out, probing the departing soldier’s mind. Male, as suspected. Frightened. He definitely did not like Kylo, though that was nothing new.

Armed with his helmet and cowl and blazing red lightsaber, Kylo had ensured he was the most obvious symbol of First Order might. Hux lacked his presence and Snoke preferred to remain in the shadows. It was easier to hate a man than an entire military organisation, after all.

It was also easier to fear him.

“Who was that?” he asked Rey.

She shot him a look that was angrier than he’d expected. Was she upset with him? But why? Had she expected to wake up in his arms? Or was she regretting the kiss?

Rey had spent a lifetime fending for herself, nursing the rejection that came from being abandoned by her own parents. She was probably uncomfortable with the small intimacy they’d shared last night.

“You’re wearing your mask,” she snapped.

He paused, but at last slipped off his battle helmet. She looked no happier with him.

“Who was he?”

“Just a trooper I used to know,” Rey replied. "I needed to get out of my room and bumped into him."

“Do troopers and servers often mix?”

“You’d be surprised at how many soldiers make their way to server quarters to flirt. Or worse.”

“Worse?”

Rey’s face said she already regretted her words. “Some men take what is not theirs. They force themselves on females onboard the ship. It’s why my friends and I stuck together- there was safety in numbers.”

He looked at her, saddened her life had been rife with insecurity even here. “If there is anyone you would like me to discipline…”

“What does it matter, Kylo?” she demanded, wrapping her arms tight around her midriff. “It’s the nature of war. Women and children always suffer the worst in these situations. You must know this already. Conflict has been your business for many years.”

Yes, she was definitely upset with him.

Something else occurred to him. “The trooper… was he your boyfriend?”

This earned him her direct wrath. “Don’t be ridiculous!” she snapped, cheeks flushing.

Kylo was unabashedly pleased by her reaction. She’d probably saved the life of that particular stormtrooper with her answer.

“Come on,” he said at last. “Training room.”

In the end, he left her in a newly appointed training arena with the faux lightsaber in her hands. He had her battling a mechanised remote that floated erratically in the air and fired stinging beams that were painful but not injurious. The remote moved too quickly for human senses to cope with. If she was to defend herself against it, Rey would have to use the Force.

It brought back memories of his padawan days training on Lothal and Kylo realised he’d stopped chastising himself over old memories. He would have stayed with Rey- the remote program lasted an hour- but he received the summons he’d been dreading during their session.

This time, Snoke did not send Hux. Kylo felt the call of his master’s voice inside his mind, the Supreme Leader’s presence lingering like oily smoke.

Snoke did not mention Kylo’s near death at the hands of the beast on Hosnian Prime. The Supreme Leader’s first words were to the point.

“Have you felt it? The stirring in the Force?”

“Yes,” Kylo replied. He did not feel the need to mention Rey’s breakthrough. Snoke would tell him if he knew.

“I grow weary of your dalliance with the girl,” Snoke continued, his gravelled voice cold. “It has gone on for too long.”

“She means nothing to me,” Kylo assured him.

Snoke grunted, unconvinced. “She is a Force user, young and tempting. Even you, Master of the Knights of Ren, have yet to face such a test.”

Kylo fought to keep his gaze on Snoke. He must give nothing away. “By the grace of your training, I will not be seduced.”

“We shall see,” Snoke muttered, eyeing him like a particularly pernicious species of Kouhun, wriggling and poisonous. “I ordered the medbay droid to take her blood today. She is fertile.”

“What?” Kylo exclaimed. “How? It’s been little over two weeks…”

“Do not pretend to be ignorant!” Snoke snarled. “You disappoint me. She is growing stronger in the Force every day and becoming more dangerous for it.”

“Master…”

“Enough!” Snoke declared, his twisted face angry. “She is ready for the taking and take her you will. You will provide me your progeny, apprentice, and you will do so without delay.”

Snoke’s enthroned image flickered out.

Kylo remained on his knees, chest quaking. He had not expected this. Not so soon.

Rey… she was in danger. But what could he do?

“Why didn’t you tell me you had your blood drawn today?”

Rey frowned, turning around to face him. They were in her chambers, her face ruddy from training with the lightsaber. She’d placed the slick black hilt on her table and he pocketed it, ignoring her disappointment that he’d done so.

“Why would I say anything?” she asked, still sounding upset. “Weren’t you the one who sent the medical droid?”

Kylo took off his helmet, slamming it down on the tabletop. This was why she’d been angry with him.

“Did you think I wanted to ensure you were fertile before we slept together? That I didn’t want to waste my seed on a hollow shell of a womb?”

Rey flinched, unable to keep the hurt from entering her eyes. “I kissed you last night,” she said, her voice suddenly small.

“I kissed you back,” he said irritably.

She went on as if he hadn’t spoken, “If ever there was a good time for you to impregnate me, wouldn’t it be now? While I’m agreeable?”

Kylo shook his head. “You’re being paranoid,” he said hotly. “And I did not request the test.”

Rey stiffened, her eyes growing wide. “Then who?”

He realised she did not know, could not comprehend the danger she was in.

“My master…”

“Do not call him that!” she cried. “You have given your loyalty to a creature that has none. Can’t you see Snoke’s only using you for your power? He’ll crush you once his plans are achieved, whatever they might be. Possibly the enslavement of every living creature.”

Kylo heard the truth of Rey’s words. He had to be so careful. Snoke sensed everything, knew everything.

But Rey was still speaking. “Why would Snoke care about my health? Unless…” She blinked hazel eyes, awareness turning her pale. “Kylo… does he know? Does Snoke know I’m Force-sensitive?”

Her devastation was so evident that he found himself wanting to lie, to cover up this fact. Instead, he grew angry that she was making him feel guilty at all.

“Of course, he does,” he said. “Every time you use the Force it causes ripples. The Supreme Leader is more attune to these changes than anyone in the galaxy.”

Her pink lips quivered. She looked betrayed. “I didn’t realise he knew about me.”

“It was inevitable the truth would come out.”

“So you told him?” she whispered.

“Rey, if Snoke discovered I’d been hiding you…”

She sank her face into her hands. “I’ve been so blind, thinking you cared for me, that you were trying to protect me.”

“I have shielded you from so much…”

“Liar!” she cried, righteous anger on her porcelain face. “Venomous snake!”

He drew back, his chest so tight he was struggling to breathe. “Don’t be a fool. Do you think we are on this ship in isolation? That there’s no one but us to consider? Life isn’t a holo-novel, Rey.”

“You have choices,” she said, her hands fists by her side. “You could make a different one.”

Kylo shook his head. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“So what now?” she asked. “What happens next?”

“I need to get you pregnant,” he said, already knowing Rey would not respond well. She laughed hysterically and he raised his voice. “Listen to me. For now, we obey Snoke…”

“Never!” Rey hissed, trembling with emotion. “You will never touch me, do you hear? You’ll have to tie me down and rape me before I submit. You are as much a monster as Snoke.”

BB-8 beeped sadly from his corner.

Just then the door to Rey’s room buzzed open and Jessika walked in with a meal tray. She gave Kylo a typically sultry smile that faltered when his dead gaze met hers. The blonde looked at Rey next, but she was too angry to acknowledge the other girl.

“I am a monster,” Kylo said at last, uncaring of the server girl’s presence, his tone like cracked ice. “And like any monster I choose my own survival.”

He swept out of Rey’s room, blood pounding in his temples.

Kylo knew what he had to do. He just wasn’t sure he had the strength to do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> -Force healing is not a new thing. Jedi Healers existed in the old order.  
> -Lothal played host to a Jedi Temple. We don’t actually know where Luke’s Jedi school was built as it was in a secret location and eventually destroyed by Ben Solo.


	11. Too Lost In You

Kylo did not come for her the next day.

Rey saw Finn early in the morning. He dropped by to check on her, concerned that he'd caused problems when Kylo spotted him with Rey. They’d barely had any time to speak besides Finn letting her know there wasn’t a single stormtrooper within the ranks named Ben.

She told Finn his timeline to secure an evacuation pod had to be moved up. Although he didn’t realise it, Kylo’s temper tantrum in the training arena had allowed Rey access to exactly what she required for a diversion.

Finn could see Rey was upset but, despite his prompting, she didn’t confide in him any further. The truth was the trooper would think her mad for having any feelings at all for Kylo Ren the warmonger.

She’d been betrayed. He’d sold her out. All along, Snoke had known about her abilities. She was in danger and Kylo was the one who’d placed her at risk.

He claimed he was protecting her, but how? He’d been protecting himself by exposing her Force-sensitive presence to Snoke. He’d been egotistical and self-serving. What else could she expect from a Jedi Killer?

Rey was careful to remain in her room, not wanting to tip her hand. Finn’s escape plan had gone from a good idea to one that was urgent. Until yesterday, it was as if she’d been living in a fog.

The reality was she was another man’s slave.

The reality was she was about to be bred like a Kaadu cow.

The reality was she had to escape.

A part of her was fearful Kylo would show up at any moment to violate her body and soul. Except he never came. Rey waited but nothing happened. Kylo even missed their regular training hour. She didn’t know what to think.

At dinner time, her door buzzed open as usual and she stifled a groan. She hoped Jessika had learnt her lesson last night. The blonde certainly looked nervous when Kylo stormed out of Rey’s room, cloak swirling and battle helmet in hand.

But when she looked up Rey found herself gazing into the face of sweet, smiling Rose.

“Hey,” she exclaimed, glad for the respite. Rey cleared her desk so Rose could put down the food tray. “I’m so happy it’s you, but where’s Jess?”

“Oh,” Rose said awkwardly. “Didn’t you hear?”

Rey shook her head, wondering what the matter was.

“Captain Phasma came for her after lunch. Looks like Jessika got her wish. She’s being prepared to meet Lord Ren.”

Rey stumbled back. Pain invaded her chest, a sensation so tangible that she looked down fully expecting to see a knife plunged through her heart.

“Rey, are you alright?”

From his corner, BB-8 beeped concernedly.

She shook her head, unable to speak. No, she was not alright.

The only man she’d ever fallen in love with was about to have sex with Jessika kriffing Pava. She knew it. She knew Kylo would be the death of her. Just not this way.

Rey sat down on a chair and Rose rushed to her side with a glass of Almakian apple juice. She took a gulp in an attempt to revive herself. It didn’t help.

Rose was staring at her, perplexed. “Rey, what’s wrong? This is a good thing, right? If Jess falls pregnant then aren’t you off the hook?”

Her friend’s words hit her like a blow. All at once, Rey understood.

Kylo was protecting her. He wouldn’t force himself on Rey but he still had to produce a pregnant female. Jessika was an easy choice. Hadn’t Rey herself told him to pick the pretty blonde?

But the reality of it was nauseating. Thoughts of a naked and voluptuous Jess wrapped around Kylo’s strong, muscular body was enough to make Rey want to throw up the brief sip of juice she’d just taken. And the idea of Jessika pregnant and glowing with Kylo’s child was equally revolting.

Rey stood up, shaking her head. It wasn’t right. Not at all.

“Rey?” Rose called her name nervously.

“You better go,” Rey told her friend. “Things are about to get ugly.”

Rose left, her frightened face barely registering on Rey’s consciousness. She felt like a blazer bomb about to go off.

Rey walked to Kylo’s door and waved her hand. It slid open with an emphatic bang, proof she’d overused the Force. It was her first time attempting such a thing, after all.

His ready room was empty and her stomach clenched. She stormed into his bedroom.

Kylo was by the window, his expression both surprised and resigned. All he wore was black pants, his chest bare and gleaming in the starlight. On his bed was Jessika, her hair a lush riot of dirty blonde curls, her lips gloss red, her curvaceous figure spilling out of a tiny pink lace negligée.

Ugh. What was it with Phasma and pink bedclothes?

Kylo raised a placating hand. “Rey…”

“How dare you?” she snarled, cheeks flushed, eyes wet with tears. “How dare you make me care for you and then… and then…” She threw Jess a scathing glance.

He stayed remarkably calm which only made her angrier. “I thought this was what you wanted.”

“It’s not!” she yelled, the room vibrating with her emotions. “You could have told me your plan!”

“You weren’t willing to see reason,” he replied. “I’m a monster after all. Why would you talk to me?”

Jess glared at her and the other girl’s sultry appearance hit Rey like a plasma arrow through the gut. She was everything Rey wasn’t- voluptuous and experienced. Rey had heard the rumours about what Jess would do for lighter shifts or extra food.

Doubt gripped her. Maybe Jessika was what Kylo desired after all.

“I should have known,” Rey said. “I should have realised you didn’t really want me. I’m just a grub, right? A garbage picker from the backside of nowhere…”

“Rey,” Kylo interrupted her, his tone hardening at last. “You made this choice. You rejected me.”

“Because I had to,” she sobbed. “You’re the bad guy, Kylo Ren. I have to hate you. That’s how the story goes.”

He shook his head. “Do you know when you’re with me, all I see is you?”

“Stop,” she whispered.

“Everything else fades away,” he said, his tone achingly vulnerable.

“Stop it.”

“You’re my only friend in ten years.”

“We are not friends.”

“Then what are we, Rey?”

She shook her head, tears slipping down her cheeks. “Why did you tell Snoke about me?”

“Because I had to.”

“That’s not true…”

“Listen to me!” he roared, making Jessika flinch. “If Snoke thought I was hiding you from him it may have meant your life. He delights in destroying anything I love.”

Rey bit her lower lip, twisting like a leaf in the wind. “Love?” she asked, her heart latching onto the word.

Jessika decided to speak up. “You had your chance, Rey. It’s my turn now.”

Rey didn’t even hesitate. She flicked her fingers and Jess slid off Kylo’s big bed with a squeal. “Get out,” she told the blonde.

Jess gaped at her from the floor. “You can’t tell me to leave.”

“Get. Out.”

Jess looked at Kylo who shrugged. “I’d do as she says.”

Rey used the Force to close the door behind Jessika’s scurrying figure. She turned back to Kylo. “You better not have touched her.”

“What do you want from me, Rey?” he demanded. “No more games.”

Alone with him once more, she felt her anger dissipate. “I- I don’t know.”

He grunted, revealing his frustration. “You come storming into my room, using the Force like a youngling with a temper tantrum, tossing out the only woman willing to sleep with me…”

Rey crossed the room and threw her arms around him. She kissed Kylo like her life depended upon it.

For a moment he did not react, and then…

He swept her into his arms and carried her to his bed, laying her out on sheets that had barely been ruffled by Jessika’s presence. Rey whimpered as his tongue invaded her mouth, hot and wet, big hands sliding over her body, ripping fabric and peeling off her clothes.

She was naked so quickly she hardly realised it, her head spinning with his warmth and presence. He was everything- big and solid and comforting, his body like a tree she wanted to climb in which she could seek shelter. She kissed him with every fibre of her being, letting go of every inhibition, a lifetime of careful conduct that had kept her alive.

“Kylo…”

“No,” he said, lifting his head and breaking off the kiss.

She stared at him, one hand involuntarily pushing away a swatch of black hair from his forehead.

“Would you call me Ben?” He asked the question nervously.

She blinked, his words buzzing in her ears. “What did you say?”

Amber eyes reflected a world of pain. “My birth name is Ben.”

She felt her breath catch in her throat. “Is that some kind of joke?”

“What? No,” he said, shaking his head. “Kylo Ren is who I am now.”

“Then why would you…”

“It feels dishonest to be with you and have you call me Kylo.”

Rey considered his answer, heart pounding in her chest. Kylo was Ben? What did that mean? Was he the one BB-8 had been sent to find?

“Ben.” She spoke his name wonderingly. “I- I like it.”

He grinned, relief spreading across his face. Rey shifted beneath him and Ben’s smile faltered, his jaw hardening with something else. Lust.

He kissed her again, deep and true. Rey decided she liked this kissing business, enjoyed the way his tongue stroked hers until everything seemed to tingle. He moved lower, trailing his soft, full lips down the curve of her neck, pausing to lick the freckles on her left shoulder.

At last he reached her bared breasts and she tried not to stiffen beneath him. Of course, he noticed anyway.

“What is it, Rey?” he asked, his already low voice even deeper.

She turned bright red. “I wish I was bigger,” she said embarrassedly. “At the trading outpost, there was a Teedo scavenger who always mistook me for a boy.”

“Sweetheart…”

The endearment threatened to undo her completely and Rey blinked back tears. “I’m not so insecure that I can’t acknowledge the attraction between us, Ky… Ben. But maybe you would prefer sleeping with a girl built like Jessika.”

He did not respond and her feelings of anxiety only ratcheted high. Oh Maker, he wasn’t attracted to her. He liked her, just not that way.

And then she realised his eyes weren’t on her face but on the small, firm slopes of her breasts, making pale pink nipples tighten.

Ben kissed his way around soft curves, rubbing his jaw against silken skin. He was always smooth shaven and it was a shock to feel the prickle of his end-of-day stubble. The sensation made her toes curl. She jumped when he latched onto a nipple, sucking it deep inside his mouth.

Rey whimpered as Ben moaned appreciatively, tugging like he couldn’t get enough. As he moved onto the neighbouring bud, she felt her body loosen beneath his, the sensual pull of flesh making her squirm, her legs spreading to wrap around his hips.

“Your body is perfect,” he mumbled into the damp flesh of her breasts and Rey blushed once more.

His enjoyment of her was mesmerising. He was making her feel beautiful. Desirable. Sensual heat pooled at the junction of her thighs, slow and tantalising, a sticky feeling she’d never experienced before.

Ben slid even lower down her body, pressing kisses along her ribcage and flat stomach, pausing to tongue her belly button. When he positioned himself between her thighs, broad shoulders pushing her legs even further apart, Rey lifted her head to look.

Her breasts were glistening with his saliva, her nipples berry red. He’d left tiny marks on her tan skin as he’d made his way across her body. The sight of his dark head so close to the most intimate part of her made the slick pink muscles of her sex clench.

“Ben, what are you…?”

“Shh,” he murmured, his warm breath tickling sensitive skin. “You’re already wet for me, Rey.”

“Is- is that good?”

He lifted his eyes without leaving his position, bemused. “Rey, have you ever…”

“No,” she answered quickly, before he could ask the humiliating question.

No man or alien had ever wanted her before. Not like this. Not like him.

Ben.

Oh. A thunderstorm of emotion swelled her heart and Rey tried to ignore it.

“Alright then,” he said soothingly. “That’s why I need to make sure you’re ready.”

She flushed at his tone. She wasn’t a child!

Rey opened her mouth to tell him that but Ben surged forward, planting his mouth on her neat nether lips in a kiss so carnal it shook her to the core. She cried out involuntarily, eyes wide and limbs shaking.

His tongue. Oh, Maker, the things he was doing with his tongue! Rey collapsed back on soft sheets as Ben explored her virginal cunt using lips, tongue and teeth.

The tip of his tongue slid along the seam of her pink cunt, probing delicately, swiping the hard little bud at the top. He plunged it deep inside her sticky channel without warning, lapping up the clear honey that was there, coaxing more out of her body. He explored and sucked, stroking and probing, unabashedly enjoying her like a meal.

Rey grew self-conscious and tried to close her legs but Ben kept her thighs wedged wide open with a purposeful shove of one bulky shoulder. There were feelings and sensations he was drawing out of her that was making her throat dry and her head spin.

Her hips bucked involuntarily when he scraped his teeth along that bundle of nerves she’d barely explored herself on her sleep pallet in Jakku. She made a sound more animal than human when he flicked the swollen bud repeatedly with his tongue.

“Ben…”

“Mmm-hmm?” he responded gamely, but that was the exact moment he decided to draw her aching clit between his lips, sucking hard. He gently thrust two thick fingers into her tight passage.

Rey climaxed with a soft scream, her thighs jerking spasmodically, still draped over his shoulder, a fresh gush of honey moistening her most tender place.

“There you go,” he murmured, amber eyes glowing. “That’s my good girl.”

And Rey damn near came again.

“Ben,” she whimpered.

“You like my name, sweetheart?”

“Please, Ben,” she whimpered. This infuriating man had ruined her.

He smiled. “Let’s give you plenty more opportunity to say it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> -Kaadus are two-legged cows. Nerfs are more like the cows we are familiar with.


	12. Leave a Light On

Ben looked at the small, slim girl wriggling naked on his bed and couldn’t believe his luck. No test in his path toward the dark side had prepared him for this.

She was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, and considering he’d visited palaces on Coruscant made from crystal shards, that was saying something.

Rey’s chestnut red hair was a glossy tumble on his pillow, a pink flush highlighting golden freckles on her cheekbones, her small breasts with their ridiculously juicy nipples quivering in defiance of gravity.

Her little fingers had grasped his sheets for something to hold onto as he’d eaten her out. Her cunt was perfect- small and plump with a tiny thatch of reddish curls pointing the way to a delicate pink slit already shiny with dew. She’d tasted so sweet, like Akivan mead which started out with notes of honey on the front and lavender at the finish.

Rey. His Rey. She was everything he didn’t know he wanted.

It felt like a violation for her first time to be with Kylo Ren.

He realised the source of his discontent, the reason why he’d been losing control. Rey brought out another side of him, the young man he’d been almost a decade ago. There was a new conflict raging inside of him because of her.

_Call me Ben._

What was he thinking? He was crazed asking her to do such a thing. If Snoke or Hux found out he was using his old name…

Rey sighed, looking up at him with big, shining hazel eyes, as innocent and liquid as a Porg’s. “Ben?”

By the Force, she was driving him crazy. He wanted to skrog her brains out, hard and fast, but this was her first time and he needed to be tender. Despite Hux’s insinuations he had some experience, though he was certainly no expert.

He loosened the string of his pants and let them drop. One hand circled the girth of his steel hard erection. Her big eyes grew even bigger and she let out her breath in a rush.

“Are you ready, sweetheart?” he asked, unscrupulously reaching down to stroke her clit with a callused thumb.

Her hips twitched, thighs quivering. She nodded, unable to speak.

He slid the bulging head of his cock inside her, grunting as he met with resistance, the taut muscles of her virgin passage barely giving way. She mewled, half in pleasure and half in pain. He gently pinched her clit and she gasped, more juices spurting out to lubricate his way into her core.

She was so tight for a moment he doubted his ability to penetrate her velvet passage. He could feel her pulse throbbing right through his aching shaft. Or maybe it was his. He relentlessly pushed deeper inside, her slick muscles gripping and milking his thick cock every inch of the way. A million tongues could not have made him feel so blissed out.

Ben saw her eyes shimmer with tears and he came to a groaning stop. “Rey, sweetheart, tell me what you’re feeling.”

“I’m sorry,” she whimpered. “You’re too big. Ben, it hurts.”

He bent over and slid his arms around her, cradling Rey against his chest as he pressed his nose into her hair.

“You’re okay,” he rumbled, feeling her quiver within his grip. “You’ll get used to me.”

She didn’t protest and he waited, giving her body time to relax. Ben reached inside Rey with the Force, linking nerve endings and receptors. He felt how full she was, the stretch and burn of pliant muscle. And he felt her shiver as she experienced his pleasure, her flesh wrapped like moist silk around his hard cock.

“Oh. Oh, Ben,” she moaned. She was ready.

He grinned fiercely. “Good girl,” he murmured, and immediately buried himself deep. He pushed straight through the thin barrier of her virginity, claiming her body as his own.

Rey gasped and Ben groaned, both lost in a haze of pleasure and new sensation, their minds linked, her breathing constricted in her throat, his heart hammering out of his chest. He felt her pain recede and her hunger for him grow.

 _Move,_ she begged, the Force their new conduit of communication. _Please, Ben, I want you to move._

 _Greedy girl,_ he teased.

Her hips raised and her legs wrapped around his waist. He pushed forward, burying himself even more deeply inside her clasping wet cunt. She had never felt so full or so complete in her life.

He eased out slowly and she protested, fingers knotting in his hair, but then he pushed back inside her pink velvet passage and she cried out. He was so thick and broad, and she so small and tight that his hard shaft rasped teasingly against her clit with every thrust.

He pumped in and out of her, slowly at first and then picking up speed. She cried out with every down thrust, unable to keep silent. He loved how noisy she was, how unashamedly aroused. He moved his hips in an easy rhythm, somewhere between needy and frantic.

Every hard stroke was bringing her closer to the edge. He laid her back down on his bed, watching desire spiral out of control on her delicate face. The little sounds escaping her throat were becoming louder, her body undulating like a wave with every push, her nails biting hard into his biceps.

He experienced her climax and it nearly wiped out his brain, pleasure like a white hot vortex removing all rational thought. Her cunt tightened and clutched at his cock. His breath exploded out of him as she took them both over the edge. The base of his spine crackled as his cock jerked hard, over and over, filling her with his seed.

Ben felt his legs turn to rubber and he half-collapsed on top of Rey, trying to keep some of his weight on his elbows, not wanting to crush her all at once. She was looking at him dazedly and they shared the euphoria of the moment in a perfect, synergetic arc.

_Ben…_

_I know, sweetheart._

He eased out of her and stretched alongside her trembling body. He sensed her dismay and instantly reached for her, sliding an arm around her shoulders, pulling her against his chest so her head rested on his collarbone. Thus soothed, she began to relax.

For a while they lay in bed, breathing together. Slowly, their Force link unravelled. He felt strangely bereft not having her tucked away in a corner of his mind.

“I wasn’t your first.”

He turned his head to look at her, his eyes at half-mast. She was trying so hard not to sound upset but failing utterly. He wanted to laugh.

“Her name was Voe. She was a student at the Jedi school I once attended. Human, skin like caf, hair like silver.”

“Did you love her?” Rey asked in a small voice.

Ben shook his head. “I was stronger than her. Stronger than them all. It made me arrogant.”

“You say that like it’s in the past,” Rey sniffed.

He gave her nipple a nibbling kiss and she squeaked, clutching at his bare chest. “I get to punish you in creative ways now,” he murmured, enjoying the blush that heated her cheeks. “I had friends at school and she was one of them. I think Voe slept with me for the novelty of it, and I was just happy to see a naked girl.”

“What novelty was there in sleeping with you?” Rey asked, a tiny frown marring her forehead.

Ben said nothing. Some truths were still too painful to reveal.

“Do all Force-sensitives link minds during sex?” Rey asked just as his eyes began to drift close.

He produced a groan from deep inside his chest, making her giggle.

“You sound like a Wookiee,” she teased.

“Believe me, I’d have to be a lot hairier to pass for one of them,” he muttered.

“Ben?”

“Hmm?”

“I asked you a question,” she pouted.

He sighed, stirring. “If we were training to be Jedi, my succulent grub, we wouldn’t be allowed to date much less sleep together.”

“Oh. Why not?”

Ben sat upright on the bed, picking up Rey by the waist and settling her on his lap. She faced him, looking startled, her slim legs straddling his hips and thighs. “They’re all so serious about Force use, these Jedi masters,” he said, one hand playing with her perky breasts. “The role requires a vow of celibacy.”

He bounced her a little and her silken bottom stroked his half-erect manhood.

“Ben!” she gasped.

“What?” he asked, teasing. “You’re the one who insisted on having a conversation.”

He gripped his hard cock in one hand and pushed his way into the slick pink opening of her cunt. She wriggled and her own weight did all the work, sliding her onto his thick shaft in one go.

“Oh!” she wailed, thighs trembling.

Ben nearly had an orgasm then, Rey vulnerable and doe-eyed astride him, her tight velvet channel clutching hard at his swollen cock. She leaned forward, grinding against his thick shaft and he grunted in pleasure. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

Their lips parted and tongues tangled as she began to move her hips, up and down along his throbbing pole. He could feel her heart rate accelerate alongside his, his cock thrusting in and out of her wet cunt.

She came before he did, breaking their sloppy kiss, her head falling back as her eyelids fluttered, the muscles of her sex tightening around his cock like a silken fist. He kept pumping upwards into her, making her sob and shake. When his orgasm hit, it seemed to go on forever.

Ben felt wrecked, undone, sliding lower on his bed so he was flat on his back once more, taking Rey with him.

“We should have done this sooner,” he muttered, holding her against his sweaty chest.

She laughed softly, little hands stroking his arms. “I didn’t trust you.”

“You still don’t,” he countered.

She was taken aback by this. He was right, of course. She had chosen to set aside her fear and trepidation about him.

Ben wished he could take back the words, but they would have had to face the truth sooner or later. Rey was no Twi’lek slave girl, pretending to be in love with her owner. She had a mind of her own and a destiny that could define his future.

Where to from here?

Kylo knew the answer to that question, but Ben… Ben wasn’t so sure.

As he drifted off to sleep, he heard her voice once more.

“I have to show you something in the morning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> -Ben Solo befriended some of Luke’s other Jedi apprentices Hennix and Tai. Ben excelled to the point where his power was greater than all the others combined which annoyed Voe in particular. During a sparring session with Voe, Ben thinks to himself, “That was her whole problem. She couldn’t just be herself. She wanted to be me, or better than me.”


	13. All of Me

Some days you wake up changed. Rey felt very small and strangely vulnerable, as though something fundamental inside her had shifted.

She peeled herself off Kylo… no, Ben, and headed back to her own room. She needed space to think. She was in the midst of a hot and soapy shower when the frosted glass door swooshed open.

Ben stepped inside, as naked as she was. He kissed her like it was a punishment, hard and rough, and she melted against him. Seconds later she found herself in his arms, her thighs clutching his hips as he pounded into her. Her back was pressed against the shower wall, hot water cascading off their bodies.

She was sore from last night but somehow that made her even more sensitive. He was steady and thorough, giving her multiple orgasms before he allowed himself to come.

They washed each other afterwards, soapy hands exploring hard muscles and soft flesh. Her breasts had never been so clean.

Ben rubbed her dry until her skin tingled before attending to himself. Rey was getting dressed when he interrupted her again, bending her over the sink and getting on his knees. His full lips and bristled jaw found her tender cunt, licking and suckling her from behind.

Rey sobbed as he drew another climax from her trembling body, biting down on her knuckles to stop herself from screaming in bliss.

Before he left to get dressed, he announced, “You should move into my room.”

Rey stared at him, her heart twisting inside her chest.

Ben shrugged broad shoulders. “It only makes sense,” he said as he walked out her door with a towel wrapped low around his hips. “I’ll see you in the evening.”

Seconds later she heard her entryway buzzer. Rey finished buttoning her britches and smoothed back her hair. Her heart was still tripping over itself inside her chest.

“Come in,” she called.

Rose walked in, looking as if her eyes might fall out of her head. “Was that Lord Ren who just left your room?”

Rey bit her lip. She didn’t want to talk about it. She’d barely processed what had happened herself.

She had slept with Kylo… no, Ben. She had been intimate with Ben. Whoever he was.

Maker, this was such a mess.

“Rey, he was practically naked!” Rose squealed, half giggly and half concerned. When Rey still didn’t say anything she asked, “Are you alright?”

Rey nodded. “I think so.”

“You don’t sound like it,” Rose said, setting down her breakfast tray. “If it helps, he was much better looking than anything I expected to find under the mask. And that body- _woah_.”

Rey couldn’t help it- she laughed.

Rose hesitated. “Did he force you to do anything you didn’t want to?”

Rey shook her head at once. “No.”

“Ah, so that’s the problem.”

The knowing tone finally had Rey’s attention. “What does that mean?”

Rose sighed, crossing her arms and leaning one hip against the desk. “Now don’t get upset with me…”

Rey screwed up her nose. “That’s a great way to start a conversation.”

BB-8 beeped in agreement, coming awake from his nightly period of stasis.

“Rey, you tend to be a little self-righteous.”

“Excuse me?” Rey squeaked.

“Fine. A lot self-righteous.”

“Rose, what do you mean?” she asked, stunned.

Rose shrugged. “Look, you’re great. I mean that. The best friend I’ve had onboard this ship. You’re kind, generous and the only person I really trust apart from Paige.”

“But?” Rey prompted.

“Whenever anyone doesn’t meet your standards you become really judgmental. And you can include yourself in that list.”

Rey looked at Rose, stricken. “I don’t mean to judge.”

“I know,” Rose assured her. “You don’t even realise you’re doing it half the time. Take Jess, for instance. Do you know why she’s so awful to you?” Rey shook her head, her heart sinking in her chest. “Because of that one time Jess told us about skrogging a First Order officer who fell asleep in the middle of sex. The story was meant to be funny but you gave her the most awful look. Because you’d never do that, Rey. You wouldn’t trade your body for favours.”

“How does that make me bad person?” Rey exclaimed. She’d been starving five minutes ago but now she had no appetite.

“It doesn’t,” Rose assured her. “But just because you wouldn’t do something doesn’t give you the right to judge Jess for making a different choice. We’re all in the same awful position, Rey. We’re all trying to regain our power however we can and Jess just uses her sexuality.”

Rey groaned, throwing herself in the lone armchair and waving at Rose to take the study desk seat. “Will you get into trouble if you stick around?”

“Nah,” Rose grinned, accepting the chair. “Cook’s too afraid you’ll complain to Lord Ren.”

The benefits of canoodling with a warlord, Rey supposed.

“So what does my self-righteousness have anything to do with the fact that I just spent the night with B- Kylo Ren?” Rey looked carefully at Rose but she didn’t seem to have noticed the slip up.

“Well, I’m guessing you’re currently beating yourself up for skrogging the killer of worlds,” Rose grinned, “but you need to stop judging yourself.”

“Stop saying skrogging!” Rey snapped.

Her friend laughed. “You see? Sometimes sex is just sex. I don’t blame you for getting into bed with a guy who’s removed you from server duties, given you your own room and wardrobe, and is feeding you like a queen. I’ve seen arranged marriages where the woman got a whole lot less.”

Rey bit the inside of her cheek. “You’re partly right.”

Rose arched an eyebrow in her direction.

“I am judging myself, but not for those reasons. I wish it was for those reasons.” Rey sank her head into her hands.

“Then why…”

“I think I like him.” Rey peeked through her fingers at Rose. “I really, really like him.”

“Lord Ren?” Rose looked suitably shocked. Apparently this was one step too far for even her unjudgmental mind.

“Yup. I have feelings for Kylo Ren, First Order scourge of the galaxy.”

BB-8 rolled up to her and beeped in commiseration.

“Great, even you pity me,” Rey frowned at the little droid.

Before BB-8 could respond, however, her door buzzer rang again.

Rose jumped to her feet so she could appear official and Rey gave her a fierce look. “Not a word about me and Kylo Ren. I mean it Rose- you have to promise.”

Her friend nodded. “I can keep my mouth shut,” she whispered back.

Rey hit a button, stopping herself just in time from using the Force. She found a stormtrooper standing in the doorway. Rose stiffened and Rey watched the trooper look uncertainly from Rose to her.

“Come in, Finn,” Rey said, too tired to pretend any longer.

Finn removed his white helmet and Rey introduced him to Rose. She watched her two friends instantly size each other up and felt a pang of envy. Why couldn’t she have feelings for a normal guy? No, she had to fall in love with a genocidal maniac.

Except to her he was just Ben.

Ben! Could Kylo be BB-8’s Ben? That seemed crazy.

“Rey, are you listening?”

She looked up to find both Finn and Rose staring at her.

“Sorry, what?”

Finn frowned. “Tomorrow afternoon. We’re all set.”

“For what?” Rose instantly demanded.

“Finn and I are planning to escape,” Rey admitted.

Finn flinched. “Rey, come on. The less people who know about this the better.”

“I was always going to ask Rose to join us,” Rey explained. “You can trust her.”

Rose gave her a grateful smile. “I’m in as long as I can bring Paige.” Finn looked askance and she added, “My sister.”

He sighed regretfully. “I’m really sorry but the evac pods only takes four souls at a time. With Jannah as our third, you would make four.”

“Aren’t there bigger pods?” Rey asked, but Finn shook his head. “What about if we steal a small flyer instead?”

Finn looked pained. “Rey, that would take a whole lot more planning and I don’t know that Jannah has the time. Yesterday, she was too drugged to join her team on a mission. If Phasma finds out, Jannah’s done for.” He gave Rey a curious look. “You do still want to run away, don’t you?”

Rey met Rose’s sympathetic gaze. No, she wasn’t sure about anything anymore.

Rey gave herself an internal shake. She’d promised to help Finn and Jannah and she couldn’t back out now.

Rose was right. Sometimes Rey wished she didn’t see the world in black and white. There were so many interesting shades of grey calling to her.

“You should go, Rey,” Rose said, almond eyes bright with tears. “This is your opportunity to get away from Lord Ren. I- I think you need to take it.”

Rey had the sudden urge to cry as well. Rose was right. Was she thinking, believing she could change a First Order warlord?

She nodded at Finn. “I’ll meet you in corridor 11-3 at 1500 hours like we discussed.”

It was the moment of truth.

“I was hoping you’d be packed,” Ben said, entering her ready room later that evening.

Rey set aside her datascreen. “What- what do you mean?” Her guilty mind instantly went to her escape plan.

“I mentioned moving you into my room, remember?” He sat his battle helmet on her desk, his face curiously vulnerable. “Is that too much to ask?”

Rey stood up and walked over to him. “No, Ben, I love the idea. Could we do it tomorrow? I’m tired, that’s all.”

He smiled, cupping her face in his leather gloved hand. “Sure, sweetheart.”

He kissed her tenderly and she felt the fresh sting of tears.

She had to leave him behind. She didn’t belong in his life, in his arms. She couldn’t stand by his side as he burned whole planets to ashes.

“Ben…”

“You know you can’t call me that in public, right? Or to anyone else. Ever.” His face was serious.

She nodded. “I guessed as much. But why?”

He lifted his head from where he’d been kissing his way down her neckline. “When I walked away from my old life, I gave up the name that tethered me to it.”

He went to kiss her again but Rey stopped him, her fingers gripping his arm. “Who are you, Ben?”

She could see myriad responses in his deep amber gaze, but all he did was frown. “I’ll tell you one day. When it’s not so dangerous.”

He guided her to the bed and Rey’s stomach flipped. “Are you being careful because of Snoke?”

Ben sat down and pulled her onto his lap. “Yes,” he said simply.

His gloved hands were tugging at her top and she wondered what they would feel like on her naked body, her nipples prickling as soon as the thought crossed her mind.

She was turning into a deviant.

“Ben, we can’t,” she said, stifling a moan as his hands gripped her hips. “BB-8 is here.”

The droid beeped and they both turned to look. He began to twitter and whirl, his control panel twinkling like a festival of lights on Naboo.

Ben frowned as BB-8 asked him the very question Rey had been dreading.

“Yes, my name is Ben. Why is that important?”

BB-8 gave a triumphant beep and began playing the holo-vid that had lain dormant in his system for so many weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> -Kriffing and skrogging are legitimate swear words in the Star Wars universe.


	14. Titanium

“Ben Solo, my son. You are the best thing I have ever done. All those years rebelling against the Empire, battling the legacy left by my own father, struggling to keep the New Republic alive despite political infighting, and now leading a Resistance... Ben, it all means nothing if I lose you. When I didn’t even know I was pregnant, the Force revealed my unborn son would be a boy, a fighter and an angel. And that you are. I should have told you how much I loved you. I should have revealed to you that Anakin Skywalker, my biological father, your grandfather, was Darth Vader. I should have explained it was his return to the light that truly ended the war. Ben, I love you. Ben, come home. The galaxy teeters on the brink of destruction and you can save it. This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Ben. You're my only hope.”

Ben gazed into the face of his mother, throat constricted, heart pounding, eyes filling with tears. “What is this?” he gasped, his voice a harsh, alien thing.

He looked at Rey and realised at some point he’d pushed her off his lap and stood to his feet. She was open-mouthed, hazel eyes staring as if she’d never seen him before.

Ben clenched his fists, shaking off the desire to scramble toward the cold emotionlessness of denial. Instead, he pushed against the knife edge of painful reality.

“You always knew who I was,” he said, his newly beating heart crumbling to dust. He glanced at Rey as if for the last time, cataloguing her shiny chestnut hair and trembling pink lips, the slender body he’d been craving. “Was this part of the plan? To seduce me with your innocence? Are you really untrained in the Force or have you been schooled by Luke?”

“Ben, no…”

“Don’t call me that!” he roared.

Rey scrambled backwards, her face fearful. He hated that he was the one who’d put that fear in her even though she _kriffing_ deserved it.

“My name is Kylo Ren,” he declared, his eyes glowing red with the dark side of the Force. “Ben Solo is dead.”

“That’s not true,” she pleaded. “Ben, I didn’t know about your past.”

“Liar!” His hands itched for his lightsaber. He wanted to break something, anything.

But Rey was facing him, refusing to back down. “That message… was that… is she your mother?”

He glared at her. “The indomitable General Leia Organa, leader of the Resistance. Is that who you’re talking about?”

“Why do you hate your mother?” Rey asked plaintively.

“Just because someone births you does not make them your parent.”

“Give me an honest answer,” she demanded. “You have a mother who loves you! She gives a damn about you!”

Kylo looked at her, realisation breaking through his fury. Rey… his poor, damaged little scavenger girl, so broken and rejected, unable to understand how a mother’s love could be a burden. “I don’t hate her.”

Tears filled her eyes, slipping down her cheeks. “Then why?”

“Why what?” He looked at her without feeling, wrapping the dark side around him like a blanket. “Why what, Rey? Say it.”

She was sobbing openly now, her delicate face crumpling like paper. “Why did you choose to become Kylo Ren? Why would you reject your family, your history? I don't understand.”

He smirked, pitying this girl who dared judge him from her own limited experiences. “No? Your parents threw you away like garbage.”

“They didn't!” she cried out in protest.

“They did,” he insisted, “but you can't stop needing them. It's your greatest weakness. Looking for them everywhere, trying to belong to anyone you meet.”

“Stop,” she whispered, and he knew she was now questioning their connection.

Fine. Let pain and doubt consume her. 

“Let the past die. Kill it if you have to. That's the only way to become what you were meant to be.” He tilted his head as if her tears were a curiosity. “You’ve always known the truth about your past, haven’t you?”

“Please,” she sobbed.

“You know the truth. Say it, Rey.”

“Don’t, please.”

“Say it!” he howled.

“My parents… were nobody.”

Satisfaction filled him, murky and cruel. “They were filthy junk traders who sold you for drinking money. They're dead in a pauper's grave in the Jakku desert. You come from nothing. You are nothing.”

Her breath became ragged gasps.

“But not to me,” he murmured, his voice as dark as the black of space. “Not to me, Rey.”

Shaking, she turned her back on him.

Kylo didn’t go to her. Rey would need time.

He faced BB-8 who beeped sadly. “Erase the message, droid, lest I break you in half.”

“Leave him alone,” Rey said from her corner.

“He would be in pieces already if it weren’t for you.”

Kylo walked out of Rey’s room and headed for a training arena. He had a battle droid or three to destroy before he would be able to feel like himself once more.

The rest of the night passed by in a sleepless blur. Kylo wanted to return to Rey, to be by her side, except that was no longer possible. He now knew the truth about her; she was nothing more than Resistance scum.

Good. She had made him weak, insecure. He should have seen her for what she was- an attempt by the enemy to infiltrate his belief in the dark side. It was better this way. His loneliness intensified his resolve.

In hindsight, he should have realised Rey’s betrayal ran deeper than a droid with a message from General Organa.

The explosions that went off in hangar bay E destroyed half a dozen fighters, stealing focus from everything else going on around them.

Kylo immediately reached out with the Force to find Rey. She was behind this; of that, he had no doubt. He latched onto her location just before she shielded her mind.

 _Not quick enough, little grub,_ he thought, striding down chaotic hallways, grabbing half a dozen stormtroopers as he went.

He remembered the unhelmeted trooper she’d been talking to in the corridors. Of course, there had been more to the story. He hadn’t wanted to see past the thin veneer of her deception.

What a fool he’d been, calling her a friend. He had no friends; only allies or enemies. Relationships were a burden, an obstacle to becoming his true self. Caring for the scavenger was his mistake, one he intended to rectify immediately.

And yet if she really was Resistance scum, why heal him? Why save his life? Wouldn’t it have been easier to let him die?

Perhaps she cared for him too. He hoped so. It would be her downfall.

They turned a corner and he saw them. The area was deserted, a series of decompression style steel doors that led to hundreds of evacuation pods. The five people standing at the far end of the room in a rough circle were an obvious blip in the scenery.

He saw two stormtroopers, a man and a woman with their helmets in hand, and two female servers in brown robes. Rey was in her white outfit, BB-8 by her side. It looked like the group was arguing.

The droid gave an alarmed beep, spotting Kylo before the humans. They turned and stared.

“Get them,” Kylo told the stormtroopers with him.

One particularly eager soldier immediately raised his blaster and fired. A server was struck through the chest and collapsed on the ground.

The other server girl fell to her knees. “Paige!” she screamed, tears streaming down her face. “Paige, no! Get up!”

The male stormtrooper shoved his female companion through the open door of an evacuation pod. He then ran to the crying girl and grabbed her, tugging her toward the pod as well.

Kylo realised if this continued Rey might be dead soon, and as furious as he was with her that was not his intended end for the scavenger. Not yet, anyway. “Shoot to stun. I will dispense my own justice,” he ordered.

The six troopers who flanked him immediately changed the settings on their blasters.

He heard Rey yell at BB-8 to get into the pod. The little droid beeped furiously in protest but did as she asked.

As the stormtroopers began to fire, Rey drew the slick black handle of the faux lightsaber and activated it. Kylo smirked behind his mask. Tricky little grub. She’d seen him pocket the weapon the other night and then recovered it from his room. He wondered when she’d found the time.

She took a deep breath and began deflecting blaster fire, redirecting the beams against two stormtroopers who fell to the ground, knocked out by the impact. The renegade male stormtrooper emerged from the evacuation pod and began firing as well, taking out another two of his comrades.

Kylo tensed his jaw and drew his own lightsaber, the crackling hum a sound as comforting as a lullaby.

“Where are you going, Rey?” he demanded. The hollow bass of his voice through the battle helm made her wince.

“Let me go,” she said tensely.

“You dare ask me to release you?” Kylo snarled.

She deflected another blaster shot, bringing down a third trooper. “I’m not asking,” she said through gritted teeth.

Rey stood her ground, feet planted, body poised to strike.

Kylo charged at her, springing up at the last second and swinging his lightsaber in a swooping hum to meet her on the ground. Rey was ready for him but her saber was not. Their blades clashed and hers sputtered and died. She fell back onto the floor, the black hilt skittering across slick tiles.

From the corner of his eye, Kylo saw the traitorous male trooper raise his blaster pistol. Kylo lifted his hand to deal with him but before he could make a move Rey stretched out her own hand and knocked the trooper backwards into the pod. Protecting him.

Very well. In the end, she was his real target.

“Surrender, little grub. You are unarmed.”

Rey lifted her hand once more and Kylo frowned, assuming she was calling to the substandard lightsaber. Instead, a thick shaft of metal came flying into her hand from where it rested against the open pod, delivering a glancing blow to his head in the process.

The Mandalorian steel staff. He’d told her it was able to withstand a lightsaber strike.

Nice to see she’d been listening.

“How…?”

“The day you destroyed the training room in a fit of temper,” she said, getting to her feet, the quarterstaff whipping a slow figure eight in her hands, “I returned and picked up a couple of proton bombs to use as a distraction and this old friend.”

Kylo shook his head. “I was able to defeat you with scimitars on the day we sparred. My lightsaber may not be able to cut through the staff but I will still take you down.”

He circled her, lifting his weapon. Her lower lip trembled, betraying her nerves.

“Ben…”

“Don’t call me that,” he snarled.

“Ben,” she repeated, her eyes on his face, the staff becoming still. “You don’t have to do this. I can feel the conflict in you. It’s tearing you apart.”

He lowered the point of his lightsaber. Those earnest doe eyes would always affect him.

“I see your future. Just the shape of it, but solid and clear. You will not bow before Snoke. You will turn.” She licked her pink lips and took a step closer, her voice dropping to a whisper. “I’ll help you.”

“No,” he said, struck by her naiveté despite himself. “When the time comes, you will be the one who turns.”

She frowned, confused by his statement, her bright mind already producing questions. By the Force, he wanted to kiss her.

This was dangerous. She was dangerous.

Kylo lifted his lightsaber to disarm and secure Rey when blaster fire knocked him off his feet. The pain was so intense he ripped off his helmet, looking down at the scorched fabric of his shirt to the bloody wound in his side.

“Rey, let’s go!” the male trooper cried out.

She stood frozen in place, her expression torn.

“Don’t leave,” Kylo said, his voice husky with agony. He extended his gloved hand to her, “Rey… join me.”

She stared at his open hand, tears overflowing her lashes and dripping off her face.

“Rey!” the stormtrooper yelled again.

“Rey, please,” the female server cried out, joining him.

Kylo watched Rey turn and walk away. The door hissed shut and there was a soft boom as the evacuation pod released into the cold emptiness of space.

She was gone, and with her any hope that he would find satisfaction in his world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> -Leia’s Force prophecy about Ben being ‘a boy, a fighter and an angel’ is canon. When pregnant with Ben, she likened him to a pulsing, living band of light.  
> -Mandalorian iron or beskar was extremely durable and its only known source was on the Outer Rim world of Mandalore and its moon. The Mandalorian warrior culture used it to create weapons, armour and starships.


	15. Lose You To Love Me

Their plan of escape had worked. They should have been ecstatic with joy, but things were never that simple.

The five of them were stuck in the pod for several days; Rey, Finn, Rose, Jannah and, of course, BB-8.

Rey knew she would forever be haunted by the look in Kylo’s amber eyes as she turned away from him. Betrayal. Rejection. She had just confirmed every wrong thing he thought about her.

And it made no sense! _He_ was the warmonger. _He_ was the bad guy.

Then why did it feel like she had failed him?

Rey spent most of her time consoling a sobbing Rose. The other girl had told Paige about the escape attempt and her sister insisted Rose leave with Rey and the two troopers. Paige had only been there to ensure Rose got into the evacuation pod and she’d lost her life because of it.

Jannah began experiencing withdrawals without her daily supply of stim; shaking with fevers and cold sweats, vomiting up what little food she’d eaten. In her delusional state, she only allowed Finn near her so he ended up playing nursemaid full time, making sure his friend stayed hydrated and fed.

Thank the Maker for BB-8. After all that had happened on the battle cruiser, the droid finally trusted them. He inputted coordinates for the planet his master Poe had told him to go to if ever they were separated.

Fortunately, they were only half a parsec away from their destination. The evac pod wasn’t built to fly very far or fast.

After three tumultuous days, they tumbled out of space to hover above a lush planet covered in trees and lakes.

“It’s so green,” Rey breathed as Finn struggled to land the pod.

In the end, their craft bounced three times before coming to a halt on the grass. The five of them clambered out, Finn helping Jannah though the other girl seemed to have weathered the worst of her symptoms.

Rey didn’t even have words to describe how good the air smelled on this planet. This wasn’t the harsh heat of Jakku or the canned air of the spaceship, it was clean and invigorating. The wind whistled through the trees and it blew cool against her skin, completely free of sand motes.

Beside her, Rose gripped her hand reassuringly. It took her friend’s touch for Rey to realise she was terrified. Her mind could barely take in what she was experiencing.

She wished Ben was there.

BB-8 beeped happily and Rey translated for the group. “He says the Resistance base is a few miles hike through the forest.”

They packed up what little supplies they had and started moving, Rey clutching her quarterstaff like a talisman.

The forest seemed to stretch toward the horizon but after an hour of steady walking there was a break in the tree line. A large stone castle appeared in the midst of the clearing. Before it was a towering statue of an alien female with her arms outstretched.

“That looks welcoming,” Rose said hesitantly.

She spoke too soon. The large wooden doors to the castle swung open and two figures strode out, weapons raised.

The first was an old man with silver hair and a blaster pistol. He was dressed like a pirate in a flowing white shirt, britches and boots, his tan leather jacket well worn. Beside him was a tall furry creature wearing a leather bandolier and pointing a bowcaster in their direction. Rey had seen only a few Wookiees pass through the Jakku spaceport but she immediately recognised his kind.

The four humans lifted their hands above their heads in surrender.

“Where did you lot come from?” the old man growled.

“We- we’ve escaped from a First Order battlecruiser,” Rey spoke up.

The Wookiee howled a question to his companion.

The old man shrugged. “They look scruffy enough to be runaways.”

“You can understand that thing?” Finn asked.

“And ‘that thing’ can understand you, so watch it,” the old man snapped. “Who are you?” he asked, waving his pistol at Rey.

“Rey from Jakku, Niima Outpost,” she bristled.

“Jakku junkyard?” the man snorted. “Don’t tell me you worked for the old Crolute Unkar Plutt. That blobfish-like brute was repulsive.”

“I didn’t have much choice, did I?” Rey replied. “And who are you?”

The Wookiee laughed slow and low as the man grinned. “I like your grit, girl.” He lowered his blaster pistol. “Han Solo.”

Finn gaped. “Han Solo the Rebellion general?”

“The smuggler, thank you very much,” the old man snapped.

Rey exchanged excited glances with Rose. Maybe they’d found the Resistance after all.

“Are you boys done bullying my guests?” a cheerful voice called out.

A small, golden-skinned female alien emerged, a giant pair of goggles magnifying her eyes into big blue spheres. Lines marked every corner of her face, reflecting a lifetime of smiles and kindness. Rey realised the statue out front had been modelled after her.

“Maz Kanata,” she announced gleefully, “Pirate Queen of Takodana.” She waved her hand at a mantra written on the walls in a hundred different languages. “All are welcome- no fighting.”

The Wookiee was already making his way back into the castle with a loping stride. Han shrugged. “Alright, Maz. Your place, your rules. But I’ll be watching these kids.”

They entered a grand hall filled to bursting with aliens and humans from all over the galaxy. Some were eating and drinking, others were playing games of chance. Rey was fascinated by the sights and sounds around her.

It took Maz a minute to find them a table and she followed this up with giant plates of baked cushnip and fral. Rey tried to maintain her dignity, but once everyone had received their meals she dove in like she hadn’t eaten in three days. Which, to be fair, she hadn’t really, apart from stormtrooper rations. Ben had spoiled her the last few weeks with fresh meat and vegetables.

Ben. Rey felt a pang of sadness.

She’d made the right call, she told herself for the hundredth time.

Rose and Finn ate as enthusiastically as she did, but Jannah picked through her food more slowly. At one point, Maz appeared with a green drink for the exhausted looking girl. Rey wondered if the little alien knew what Jannah was going through. She wouldn’t have been surprised- Maz seemed wise beyond her years

Once they’d eaten, Han Solo came for them.

“Come on,” he said. “There’s a meeting going on downstairs and the people there will probably want to question you about your time with the First Order.”

They followed Han down stone stairs, BB-8 extending little metal hooks to help his spherical body navigate the way. Han took them to a room filled with two dozen people and aliens, their faces serious as they sat in a circle listening to someone speak.

BB-8 burst into a muted series of beeps, drawing the attention of a young man with thick dark curls and deep brown eyes. He wore a flightsuit and his handsome face lit up as he spotted the droid.

He stood to join them as Han left their side. The new guy knelt and gripped the droid.

“Hey, buddy, never thought I’d see you again,” he said, his voice pitched low so as not to disturb the meeting.

BB-8 beeped happily and the man looked up.

“Stormtrooper Finn!” he grinned, standing and pulling him into a hug. “Thanks for bringing BB-8 back to me.”

Finn looked pleased but embarrassed. “It was more Rey than me,” he said, waving his hand at her. “This is Jannah and she’s Rose.”

The man nodded pleasantly at them. “I’m Poe Dameron. Welcome to the Resistance. Let’s take a seat before General Organa yells at me for being disruptive again.”

General Organa? Rey and her friends found a row of stone seats towards the back of the crowd. Rey’s heart was pumping as she scanned the group for one face in particular.

Her pulse jumped. There she was- Leia Organa, princess, senator, general… and Ben’s mother. She was even more beautiful in real life.

Han Solo was seated beside her now and Rey frowned. Why was Han Solo sitting next to… Oh, Maker. She’d forgotten. They were husband and wife. Rey had just been rude to Ben’s dad.

Rey felt queasy with nerves. What was she doing here? She was no Resistance fighter. She was barely a rebel. She’d helped Finn escape _Finalizer_ for her own sake as much as anyone else’s.

She told herself she’d stick around for as long as it took to be debriefed and then she’d ask Maz where she could go to put her scavenging skills to good use. Her intention had always been to return to Jakku and wait for her parents, but Ben was right. In her heart of hearts, she’d always known they were dead.

“Rey, are you alright?” Rose asked in concern.

Rey gave her a tight smile, feeling ashamed. Rose had just watched her sister die before her very eyes while Rey didn’t even have a single memory of her parents. She had no right grieving their loss as if they’d been by her side all this time.

Or did she? Was she being too hard on herself again?

Rey shook her head to clear it, telling herself to focus on the meeting.

There was an argument going on. An old man was talking about the might of the First Order and the Resistance’s lack of resources.

“People are afraid,” he declared to the murmuring crowd. “They don’t see any way out except to bow to Kylo Ren.”

A woman spoke up, her tone firm. “You’re looking at it the wrong way, Major Ematt. We should aim for small planets and settlements, the ones overlooked by the First Order. Just because they don’t matter to our foes doesn’t mean those societies lack value. Every bolt hole we can gain a foothold in is another pocket of hope.”

“Always the idealist, Vi,” someone else called out.

The woman gave a harsh laugh. “You wouldn’t call me an idealist if you knew the things I’ve seen. Ren and his rabid cur Hux have decimated entire planets. Their evil knows no bounds.”

At this, Rey frowned. Why was no one talking about Snoke? That manipulative monster was the true darkness on the throne. And Hux was not under Ben’s command- Hux did as Snoke ordered.

“Master Skywalker, what say you?” someone called out.

Rey gave a small gasp as the blue-eyed man on Leia’s other side shook his head. “I have revealed myself only for a short time. We all know Ren desires to end my life and my presence here further endangers the Resistance. Do not seek your answers from me- the legacy of the Jedi is one of failure. I saw the darkness rising in Ren and in my hubris, I thought I could help him. Instead, he is now completely given over to the dark side.”

“You’re wrong!” Rey exclaimed, the words bursting out of her. “Kylo Ren is not who you think he is.”

Those present turned to stare at her, shocked by this interruption.

Rey felt intimidated by the battery of eyes but she pushed forward with her point. “You make Kylo sound like an impenetrable wall but there are chinks in his armour.”

Han spoke up, sounding terribly patient as he began, “Look, kid, I know you four have just escaped from a First Order battlecruiser but that doesn’t make you an expert…”

“It’s Snoke who’s the real danger,” Rey said, interrupting the legend though she hardly knew how she dared.

“Who the kriff are you?” a stocky middle-aged man in a well-worn flightsuit demanded.

“I’ll tell you who she is,” Rose declared, losing her head. “Her name is Rey and she’s Kylo Ren’s girlfriend.”

Rey groaned internally as a petrified silence fell over the crowd. She could have killed Rose.

Desperately, Rey wondered whether she could perform a Force mind-wipe over a dozen people. That was a thing, wasn’t it?

“Are you serious?” Poe asked disbelieving.

“Rey, what’s Rose talking about?” Finn was staring at her, his expression devastated. Beside him, Jannah laid a restraining hand on his arm but he shook it off. “Ren abused you! I saw the bruises every time we met!”

“He wasn’t beating me up, you idiot. He was teaching me to use a lightsaber.” Rey knew she’d exposed herself as soon as the words came out of her mouth.

From his seat, Luke lifted his hand. She felt the weight of the Force reach out to her, different from when Ben did it. No less powerful but purer, somehow. His intention was not harmful, while Ben’s could have been.

She batted away the intrusive fingers reading her mind and Luke’s blue eyes widened. “Of course,” he said, almost to himself. “You’re Force-sensitive.”

“You’re what?” Rose demanded as those in the meeting began to stand, trying to catch a glimpse of Rey.

“Kylo was training me,” she admitted to even more outraged cries.

“Why didn’t you tell me what was going on?” Finn hissed.

Rey looked at him helplessly. “I didn’t understand what was happening, Finn. I certainly couldn’t explain it to anyone else.”

To her dismay, Finn got up and stormed out of the room.

Jannah shot Rey a sympathetic smile. “Leave him to me,” she murmured, going after Finn.

“Do you remember when we were young enough to be that passionate?” Rey heard Han mutter to Leia.

The elegant woman looked torn between amusement and consternation.

“Who is this girl?”

“Is Ren training an army of Force users?”

“I knew it- I knew the Sith were back!”

“Why should we trust the newcomer?”

“Enough!”

The voice that spoke cut clear across the babble of conversation taking place. Leia was on her feet, her big, dark eyes so much like her son’s now filled with unimagined pain. A mother’s sorrow. “What we have here is an opportunity.” She gave a tight smile. “Rey- I think we need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> -Unkar Plutt was a male member of the Crolute species. He almost never left his concession stand because the harsh Jakku environment disagreed with his aquatic nature.  
> -Maz Kanata is so well known you can spot a statue of the pirate queen in young Anakin Skywalker’s bedroom on Tatooine.  
> -Vi Moradi was a spy for the Resistance, code name Starling.


	16. The House That Built Me

Leia took Rey upstairs and Maz waved them into a garden behind the castle where they could have their privacy. Luke, Han and Chewbacca came with them, as did a tall woman in elegant robes with lavender hair by the name of Vice Admiral Amilyn Holdo.

Rey had never felt so nervous to tell her story. Conscious she was in the presence of Ben’s parents and his legendary Jedi uncle, she had to tamp down on her blushes as she explained Snoke’s desire for a child from Ben’s bloodline.

This information drew dark looks from both Luke and Leia. Rey could only imagine how twisted it sounded to them. She then described how Kylo had discovered her Force-sensitivity by accident.

Leia shook her head. “Nothing is by accident, Rey,” she murmured, her expression unreadable.

Looking back, Rey could see what she meant. More and more, it felt like she was _supposed_ to be with Ben.

“He trained me for only a few weeks,” she said. “It wasn't very dark side-ish. We mostly sparred.”

At this, Luke let out a _harrumph._

“Why did you say the Jedi have failed?” Rey asked him suddenly.

Luke had been silent the whole time and still he seemed reluctant to speak. “We haven’t exactly been a success,” he replied grumpily. “At the height of their power, the Jedi council allowed the rise of Darth Sidious, the one also known as Emperor Palpatine. He destroyed the republic and corrupted my father, who became Darth Vader.” Luke shook his head. “The Jedi did nothing to prevent the escalation of evil.”

“How can you believe that?” Rey exclaimed. “A Jedi saved Vader even though he was the most hated man in the galaxy. You believed Vader could be turned.”

Leia was watching her with sharp eyes. “Rey, what are you saying? Do you think Ben could come back?”

“Ben killed his classmates and destroyed Luke’s school,” Han said roughly. “Those aren’t the actions of someone wanting to be redeemed.”

Luke dropped his face into his hands. “That’s not how it happened.”

They all turned to stare at him.

“Tell us,” Leia said, her voice cracking.

Luke took a deep breath. “I saw the darkness. I sensed it building in him- my nephew, my padawan. When I looked inside, it was beyond anything I imagined. Snoke had already turned his heart. That was when I- I raised my lightsaber to kill Ben while he slept.”

“You did what?” Han snarled.

Chewie gave a restraining howl.

“I saw his future, Han. He would be the destruction of everything we loved, worse than Vader ever was, but I realised my mistake even as I ignited my saber. And in that split second, before I could lower my weapon, Ben awoke.” Luke bowed his head. “The last thing I saw were the frightened eyes of a boy whose master had failed him.”

There was a tense silence. Han looked angry enough to reach for his blaster pistol again.

Admiral Holdo stirred. “Forgive me. My words must feel intrusive because the one known as Kylo Ren is family to so many of you, but it would be remiss of me not to speak.”

Leia gave her a strained smile. “Go ahead, Amilyn. It’s why you’re here, after all. This discussion shouldn’t be a family matter.”

“I understand Ren was once a young man seduced to the dark side,” Holdo began carefully. “Perhaps there was even a time when he was battling his better angels, but now, after all he has done, surely he is beyond our help. We need to treat Ren as what he is- the enemy.”

“That’s not the whole story,” Rey said, pleading. “You speak about Kylo Ren as if he’s this monolith of evil. Why does no one mention Snoke? He is still there, in control of General Hux and the First Order’s military might. He still manipulates Kylo. I have seen the aftermath of their interactions and it feels ugly. Abusive.”

Leia covered her mouth with her hand as if to stop a cry. Han slung a comforting arm around her shoulders.

“Ben is still there behind the mask. Master Luke, you failed him once by thinking his choice had been made when it wasn’t. After all this time, there remains conflict within him.” Rey could feel certainty swelling inside of her. “If Kylo Ren turns away from the dark side it will shift the tide. He is our salvation.”

“Rey,” Luke murmured, his gaze pitying, “don’t do this to yourself.”

His blue eyes seemed to penetrate her soul and she knew he’d seen her resolve. Even as she spoke the words, Rey had made up her mind. She knew what she had to do.

“I agree with one thing,” Holdo said. “You’re right, Rey. We shouldn’t forget Snoke when we fight the First Order. It would be remiss of us to target one dark lord and not the other.”

Rey shook her head. Had no one heard her?

Holdo went on, “We’ve received a communiqué from a source to say Snoke himself is headed to the battlecruiser _Finalizer_. Having Snoke, Hux and Ren all under one roof with a solid majority of First Order’s military forces is too good an opportunity to miss.”

Leia looked at the admiral, her expression resigned. “What do you suggest?”

“We debrief the four escapees- especially the two stormtroopers- and find out the vessel’s weaknesses. And then we rally our people for one final incursion against the First Order’s flagship and blow that kriffing thing out of the sky.”

Beside Rey, Rose sucked in her breath. “Kaydel, Jess,” she murmured, distraught.

Rey grabbed Rose’s hand. “Not everyone onboard is a First Order believer, admiral,” she protested. “Some are kids, just like us.”

Holdo gave her a sorrowful look. “I’m sorry, Rey. I truly am. But your arrival here is the first real intel we’ve received that might help bring down the First Order. The truth is the Resistance is crumbling. Our spark of hope is flickering out.”

Rey opened her mouth to plead her cause again but she was cut off.

“I can’t fault your reasoning, Amilyn,” Leia said. “Do as you must but keep me informed.”

With a brisk nod of her head, the vice admiral left behind a grim group.

For a moment, no one spoke. And then, Rey burst out, “Why did you send the message through BB-8 if you never intended to save Ben?”

Leia stared at her. “You saw it?”

“I was with Ben when BB-8 played the holo-vid.”

Han tipped his head to one side. “So when this one called you my son’s girlfriend, she was telling the truth?”

Rose grimaced apologetically at Rey who blushed and muttered, “Yes.”

To her surprise, a charming smile split the old smuggler’s face. He smacked Chewie on the back. “Nice to see he’s a chip off the ol’ block.”

“Han!” Leia protested.

Chewie yowled something that only made Han’s grin widen.

Luke rolled his eyes. “You two never change.”

“And thank the Force for that,” Han said happily.

Leia shook her head. “I certainly don’t miss your smart mouth.”

“Sure you do, sweetheart,” Han smirked.

Sweetheart. Rey felt her heart break inside her chest.

Oh, Ben.

“So what’s the plan?” Han demanded, looking from Luke to Leia. “And don’t tell me we’re about to let Amilyn blow up an entire battlecruiser without trying to get our son out.”

“We have to work with her,” Leia warned. “As much as I want to save Ben, I won’t undermine the entire Resistance just for him.”

“Sure, sure,” Luke said, renewed energy in his voice, “but that doesn’t mean we tell them what we’re up to either.”

“Count me in,” Rey declared to Rose’s consternation.

“Rey, you just escaped that awful place. I can’t send you back in,” Leia said.

“When was the last time any of you spoke to Ben?” she demanded, and the adults looked disconcerted. “That’s what I thought. I saw something once when I touched him, an image of his future. If I go to him, Ben Solo will turn.”

“And what exactly did this touching entail?”

 _“Han!”_ This time the exclamation came from Luke and Leia combined, Chewie yowling in agreement.

Rey turned the dark red of Alderaanian wine and wondered if a person could die from embarrassment.

It turned out organising a Resistance took time.

A week had gone by and there were still no definite plans to launch an attack against the _Finalizer_. Rey was afraid Snoke’s return to the First Order’s flagship signalled more pain and torture for Ben.

He’d lost her, after all. Let her slip through his fingers. The girl who could have given him a doubly Force-sensitive child. There was no doubt in Rey’s mind Snoke would punish Ben for that fact alone.

The Resistance leadership had taken turns quizzing Finn, Rose, Jannah and her together and individually, trying to mine their memories for every helpful bit of information about the First Order, their military forces and the ship itself.

In the end, it was Finn and Jannah who were the most helpful. As stormtroopers they had seen more of the ship and were exposed to weapons caches and fighter crafts. They also had more experience with First Order military strategies.

Rey watched Finn become fired up as the week went on. She suspected he’d been disenfranchised for so long that joining the Resistance was like a new lease on life.

Jannah was just a fierce in her desire to fight back, though Finn admitted to Rey that she still had cravings for stim. It appeared Maz was helping her through it with a supply of herbaceous drinks that calmed the nerves.

Rey was glad she and Finn had made up. Except they hadn’t, not really. He refused to discuss the matter of Kylo Ren with her, especially since Rey insisted on calling him Ben Solo. Rose once wondered aloud if Finn might have a crush on her but Rey couldn’t conceive of such a thing.

All she could think about was Ben.

She missed him. Every day and all the time, it felt like a piece of her heart was missing.

And as the days ticked by, she began to second guess herself. What if Ben hated her now? What if Snoke fed him lies, turning him against her? What if she returned and Ben Solo truly was subsumed by Kylo Ren?

Rey was glad for a distraction the day Luke and Leia approached her, lightsabers in hand.

“What’s this?” Rey asked as they sat under a shady tree, surrounded by a babbling brook. She couldn’t get enough of the planet’s natural beauty.

Leia smiled tiredly. She seemed tired all the time. “My lightsaber.”

Rey looked at the silver hilt in Leia’s hands, suddenly nervous. “I thought you never walked that road.”

“Not many people know this but I started my Jedi training with Luke almost as soon as the Empire was brought down. I nearly finished too, but on the last night of training I sensed something.” She took a deep breath, as if the memory still hurt. “I felt the death of my son at the end of my Jedi path.”

Rey blinked. “General…”

Leia held up a hand to stop her from speaking. “I always knew my lightsaber would be picked up by someone who would finish my journey. Rey, I want you to have it.”

Suddenly, she was fighting back tears. Rey was furious with herself. It was all Ben’s fault. A month ago she’d been made of rock, not even crying when she’d sliced open her hand on a carving knife, and now everything reduced her to a blubbering mess.

“I- I can’t,” she whispered. “I barely know how to hold a lightsaber much less wield one in a fight.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I’m here, isn’t it?” Luke said flippantly.

Leia offered her the sparkling hilt and Rey grasped it hesitantly.

Instantly, the world around her turned dark as if she’d been wrapped in a black cloud. Images flashed through her mind: a hero stabbed by a fiery blade, a battlefield filled with soldiers, a blue and white droid beside a young Jedi. She saw Kylo Ren in his black and silver helmet and dark hood, six shadowy figures behind him, his red lightsaber glowing like a cross. The image shifted and she was a child on Jakku, struggling to free herself from a sweaty hand, screaming, crying. A figure emerged from the darkness. Kylo Ren lifted his lightsaber and charged.

“Rey?”

She spun around to see Maz smiling at her.

“What was that?” Rey demanded, trembling. She looked at the silver hilt in her hand as if it were a poisonous Parnassos beetle.

“What did you see?” Luke asked.

She shook her head, not wanting to say. “Nothing very clear. The past, I think.” And Kylo Ren, not Ben Solo. Her heart ached.

“The lightsaber calls to you,” Maz said, her touch reassuring. “You did not see anything you were not meant to.”

“Are you Jedi?” Rey asked Maz, startled by her insight.

Leia smiled. “Like me, Maz has refused that path though she feels the Force very deeply.”

“You’d hope so,” Luke muttered. “You’re about a thousand years old.”

Maz removed her goggles, revealing eyes that were like tiny seeds in an ocean of weathered golden skin. “It’s not polite to talk about a woman’s age, Luke Skywalker,” she said sharply.

“If I had a choice,” Rey confessed, “I would walk away from all this. I’d have no part of it.”

“Then why stay?” Luke asked, watching her closely.

Rey’s lips quivered. “Ben.”

Leia shook her head. “Rey, he’s not your responsibility.”

Maz laid a hand on Leia’s arm, her gaze fixed on Rey. “Dear child, I see your eyes. You know the truth. What you were waiting for in Jakku was false. Your parents are never coming back, but there’s someone who still could.”

“Now Maz, don’t fill her head with nonsense,” Luke muttered.

The little alien turned on him in a flash. “And you, Skywalker, Jedi master, must not give up.” Maz turned back to Rey, taking her hand. “The belonging you seek is not behind you, it is ahead.”

“Hey guys?”

The foursome turned to see Poe Dameron watching them curiously. “Plans are being finalised. We need to prepare.”

BB-8 beeped in agreement.

Rey tightened her hold on Leia’s silver lightsaber.

No, _her_ lightsaber. Time to bring Ben home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> -Amilyn Holdo met Leia while she was working for the Imperial Senate and they became friends. She is originally a blonde but enjoys dyeing her hair a variety of colours.  
> -Phasma used the poison of a Parnassos beetle to kill Armitage Hux's father, Brendol. She had conspired with Armitage to do so.


	17. Scars To Your Beautiful

Snoke was apoplectic with rage upon discovering Rey’s escape. It had given Kylo a perverse kind of pleasure to see his master so upset.

Snoke punished him in the usual ways, humiliating Kylo in front of Hux, a man they both knew was nothing more than a blunt instrument for Snoke’s will. He then forced Kylo into combat with his own knights under the guise of the need for practice. The Knights of Ren were all onboard the _Finalizer,_ called back to base at Snoke’s insistence.

Kylo could feel the disquiet amongst his men. He was different and no one knew why. He kept silent, barely exchanging words as he battled with the knights, taking down one after another. He returned to his chambers covered in bloody contusions and deep bruises, pale and sweating.

This pain was preferable to the other kind, the lack Rey had left in his soul as she fled his presence.

It was inevitable that she’d run away. He was too far gone, too twisted and perverse for anyone to love.

No! She was the deceiver, lying to his face this whole time, pretending to be something she wasn’t, slipping into his life like a changeling.

Kylo went to sleep with Rey’s voice in his head and awoke with his mother’s words echoing in his heart. Damn them both. It was different to hearing Snoke in his mind. Different from Vader’s hissing, mechanical breathing. He was different.

Kylo was unsurprised when the attack began from a squadron of Resistance X-wings. It was a relief, really. He didn’t realise he’d been holding his breath for this moment until it happened.

It made sense for the Resistance to try and bring down the _Finalizer,_ especially now Snoke had enthroned himself onboard the vessel. The two stormtroopers who’d escaped with Rey would have provided the Resistance insider information. It was now or never.

Foolishness. The might of the First Order was still ten times anything the Resistance possessed. Their fledgling movement was about to be crushed.

Fully dressed for battle in helmet and cowl, Kylo remained in his chambers. He ignored the boom and shiver of weapons fire.

He was waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting.

There.

Lightsaber hilt in hand, he strode through steel-plated corridors, avoiding officers and stormtroopers scurrying to whichever turboblaster or ion cannon they were assigned.

He followed the Force to his inevitable fate.

The viewing deck.

Of course. This was where they’d begun, after all. He the warlord of the First Order and she an underfed little kitchen maid.

“Rey.”

She turned to face him and he could sense the beating of her heart, anxious and… pleased? Surely not. Why would she be pleased to see him?

She ran to him, throwing her arms around his neck, wrapping her legs around his waist. He stumbled backwards, more from astonishment than her slight weight.

She pressed a kiss on the cheek of his helmet, eyes shiny with tears. “I missed you,” she whispered. “Did you miss me?”

“What are you doing?” he demanded, a confusion of emotions crashing down on him.

And yet his arms cradled her slender form, the ice that had formed around his heart cracking as she leant her head against his chest.

“I’m not a spy, Ben. I never was,” she said, her voice muffled by his cape.

“I don’t believe you,” he said woodenly.

She lifted her gaze to him, as fierce as any feathered Varactyl. “Yes, you do. You feel it in your spirit. We are bound by the Force. I couldn’t hide anything from you.”

Kylo let Rey down more gently than she deserved. Throwing herself at him like that without caution- what was she thinking? He could have ignited his lightsaber and killed her in one stroke.

“You shouldn’t have come. I must take you to Snoke.”

Rey shook her head. “You don’t have to. You can choose another path.”

He laughed without any humour. “And what, give up the unimaginable power of the dark side for life as a Jedi? Don’t be ridiculous.”

She took a step closer, big eyes grown even bigger in her delicate face. “You misunderstand me, Ben. I’m not asking you to choose your family or their legacy. I don’t need you to be a Solo or Skywalker.” She rested a hand on his chest, fingers trembling. “I want you to pick me. Just me. Rey from nowhere.”

“Why would I do that?” he asked, shocked. His question was genuine, spoken without malice or anger.

“Because I love you.” She looked up at him earnestly. “I came back for you, Ben. Not for the Resistance or my friends. For you.”

His hands went to his helmet, ripping it off and tossing it into a corner of the room where it landed with a crash. He pulled her close, gloved hands wrapping around her waist.

He noticed she’d left her silky chestnut red hair down, her pink lips even pinker with some kind of gloss. Like a girl going on a date.

His breath caught inside his chest. Stupid scavenger, thinking she could fix broken things.

“It’s too late,” he said, his voice as dark as a pit.

Rey didn’t fight him, holding out her hands for the magnetic cuffs he’d brought with him. He led her into Snoke’s throne room, his heart heavy within his chest. And yet, her presence had brought clarity.

The room glowed red, highlighting the monstrous grey throne on which Snoke sat, its stone facade towering to the ceiling. His master’s twisted face watched in interest as Kylo led Rey through the doors.

Snoke was surrounded by his Praetorian bodyguard, eight warriors clad in blood red armour and robes, armed with melee weaponry. Kylo watched them tense as Rey’s cuffs fell off her wrists.

Surprised, Kylo glanced up and saw Snoke’s extended hand. He was the one who’d released her.

“Come closer, child,” the gravelled voice commanded though Rey did not move. “So much strength in such a fragile shell.” Snoke shifted his cold gaze to Kylo. “Always the Force seeks balance. I warned my young apprentice that as he grew stronger, his equal in the light would rise to meet him.”

“I am not here to fight Kylo Ren,” Rey said, undaunted.

Snoke lifted his hand and she rose in the air, spine taut. “What’s this?” he murmured. The silver hilt of a lightsaber flew out of the folds of her clothes.

Kylo stared as Snoke caught it in his long-fingered hand. That wasn’t Luke’s blade. Then who…?

“The Princess of Alderaan is full of surprises,” Snoke murmured.

His mother? Kylo blinked.

“I said, come closer,” Snoke snarled, pulling Rey toward him with the Force. “Why are you here? Did you sense a weakness in my apprentice?” He laughed coldly. “Young fool. I stoked his conflict so you would think you had a chance to save him from the dark side. You have shown your naiveté by rising to the bait.”

“Liar!” Rey yelled, her face flushed as she fought against Snoke’s control of her body. “You manipulate everything around you. You have underestimated me, and you have underestimated Ben Solo. But worst of all, you have underestimated Luke Skywalker.”

Too late, Kylo felt the surge of Force as the throne room doors burst open. Han Solo ran into the room, blaster pistol raised and firing, his back covered by Chewbacca’s bowcaster, the Wookiee as large as life and twice as natural.

Snoke’s red guard stepped forward with weapons raised but he waved them down. He easily deflected the shots from Han and Chewie with a move of his hand. His eyes were looking past them.

Robes flying with the power of the Force that surrounded him, the blue beam of his lightsaber humming solid and true, Luke Skywalker walked into Snoke’s throne room.

Kylo ignited his weapon, heart pounding inside his chest. How had neither he nor Snoke sensed Luke’s arrival?

He looked at Rey, now collapsed in a pile of limbs on the floor. She’d used her Force signature to shield Skywalker's. Amazing.

He couldn’t help the small spark of admiration.

“My worthy apprentice, son of darkness, heir apparent to Lord Vader: where there was conflict I now sense resolve, where there was weakness, strength.” Snoke’s voice thundered in the throne room, shaking Kylo to the core. “Complete your training and fulfil your destiny.”

“I know what I have to do,” he agreed.

“Ben…” Rey’s voice was weak.

“You think you can turn him? Pathetic child,” Snoke sneered.

“Ben!” Han shouted, his face filled with emotion.

Chewbacca moaned his name, his Wookiee voice reverberating across the hall.

Luke stopped ten feet before him, his face determined. “Ben.”

Something inside Kylo snapped. He glared at Luke. “Did you come back to say you forgive me?”

“No,” Luke replied.

Kylo charged, lifting his lightsaber and swinging from high. Luke blocked the blow and sidestepped his attack.

“I failed you, Ben. I’m sorry.” His words held a weight of pain. “It shouldn’t have taken a young girl to make me face my mistakes. I should have come for you a long time ago.”

“I’ll destroy you,” Kylo snarled.

He charged once more, his crossguard lightsaber swinging sideways in both hands as he thrust it directly at the centre of Skywalker’s body. The old man parried the thrust, his face revealing the amount of strength it took him to do so. Kylo planted his feet and spun his blade in a 360-degree arc, sweeping the saber around again, moving with a kind of malignant grace. Luke deflected his attack as if by reflex, and then… he extinguished his weapon.

Take aback, Kylo froze. “What are you doing?” he yelled. “Fight me.”

Luke gave him a small smile. “No. Strike me down in anger and I will always be with you.”

“Trust me, kid, you don’t want that,” Han called from across the room.

“I’m having a moment here,” Luke said irritably.

“Sure you are,” Han muttered. “You Jedi and your theatrics.”

Chewie growled in agreement.

“Enough!” Snoke’s scream of rage echoed across the throne room. He got to his feet, his face like a sunken grave. _“I_ will kill the last Jedi!”

Luke’s expression was serene. “I laid down my weapon once before to save Darth Vader,” he declared. “I do so again for Kylo Ren.”

Snoke raised his long, skeletal arms. Kylo felt his lightsaber wrenched from his hand. He watched it rise in the air before it came plunging down, blade first.

“Luke!” Han yelled.

“No!” Rey screamed, struggling to her feet.

The red lightsaber pierced the last Jedi through his chest and Luke Skywalker crumpled to the ground.

Kylo ran to him, gathering the man in his arm. There were tears in his eyes, turmoil in his heart. His voice, when he spoke, was as thin as a thread. “Uncle Luke…”

Luke smiled. “Ben.” And he breathed his last.

Seconds passed as Skywalker’s slain body shimmered, becoming translucent before finally disappearing. Empty robes were all that remained. His was the death of a true Jedi.

Kylo Ren reached for the still humming red lightsaber scorching the floor. He picked up the rough-hewn hilt and directed the power of the Force into its shaft. It cracked and shattered, the glow of the sputtering red blade forever quenched.

The dark haired young man stood up, ripping the cowl off his shoulders, igniting Anakin Skywalker’s blue lightsaber.

Ben Solo was back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> -Luke lost Anakin’s lightsaber after their duel on Cloud City where Vader revealed he was Luke’s father. Luke’s own lightsaber had a green beam.  
> -Obi-Wan Kenobi rode a Varactyl during the last days of the Clone Wars. It can be seen in Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith.


	18. Iris

Rey was crying and laughing at the same time. She told herself to get a grip. Literally.

She held out her hand and the saber hilt that had been on the arm of Snoke’s throne came flying toward her.

Ben walked over to stand beside her. Their eyes met and she nodded. His response was written all over his face; sorrow and exhilaration in one.

“Fools!” Snoke hissed. “The power of the dark side is greater than anything you two can wield.”

“Come at us,” Ben declared, lifting the humming blue blade.

“That’s my boy!” Han hollered.

Chewie roared irritably, battling two red guards at the one time and clearly needing assistance.

Rey heard Ben mutter “Good grief, dad,” under his breath.

The remainder Praetorian guards rushed forward but Snoke waved them away. “These two are mine,” he snarled.

Snoke raised his arms yet again. He unleashed a streak of Force lightning that crackled through the air, a blue current with a white hot heart. Rey grunted as it struck her blade.

Snoke increased the blast, fury on his face. “You are nothing!” he screamed. “A scavenger girl is no match for the dark power inside me!”

She planted her feet, face straining as she attempted to push back. Snoke's power was too much, too strong... she wouldn't last for much longer.

“Rey.”

For a moment she thought Ben’s voice was in her head, but then she realised he was speaking into her ear. He stood behind her, his arms coming around her, the Skywalker lightsaber ablaze.

“Stand strong,” Ben said.

He dipped his blade, crossing his lightsaber with hers to form an X. Rey felt the thrum of Force energy flow through him, through her, through their weapons.

She drew a breath and knew she was breathing with him. As one.

“Now!” he yelled.

Together, they pushed. Rey felt herself light up, body, mind and spirit, pure Force running through her every cell. Their surge deflected the lightning, hurling it back at Snoke in a flash of immense energy. He screamed in agony, his long, thin frame stiffening, writhing, blackening, crumbling into ash.

Snoke was dead.

There was no time to celebrate. Snoke’s red guard, those not already taken down by Han and Chewie, rushed forward. Ben spun around so his back was pressed against Rey’s and they faced them together.

Afterwards, Rey could hardly recall the battle. She fought in a daze, following the leading of the Force. She remembered what Ben had said in her training; it was like having second sight.

At one point she caught a glimpse of Ben and all she wanted to do was stop and stare. He was beautiful. Savage and wild and so very skilled. His dance of death reflected a flair that she realised was his father’s.

Oh, he would hate that she’d thought that. She looked forward to telling him very soon.

At last, the guards lay slain at their feet. The four of them, Han, Chewie, Ben and her, were breathing hard, dripping with sweat.

“Hey, kid.”

Rey turned to see Han Solo face his long lost son.

She realised while Ben may have inherited Leia’s wondrous eyes, his frame- his height, the broad shoulders and lean hips, the careless grace of movement- that was all Han.

“It’s been a long time, son.”

Ben’s face stiffened. “I don’t deserve to be called your son.”

Han took a step toward him, shaking his head. “I’m the one who disappointed you. All I want is for you to come home, Ben.”

“Luke is dead because of me,” Ben replied, his knuckles white around the hilt of the lightsaber. “It’s too late.”

Rey felt her breath catch in her throat. She wanted to run to Ben, but father and son needed to find their own way.

“It’s never too late,” Han assured him. “Your mother is waiting. She never gave up hope. And Luke… Luke did what he had to do.”

Grief filled his eyes with tears, his mobile mouth quivering. “Dad.”

Han reached out and placed a hand on his cheek. “I know.”

With a pitiful howl Chewie rushed them, wrapping furry arms around both men and dragging them into a group hug. Han groaned and Ben started laughing.

“Hi, Uncle Chewie,” he said, patting the Wookiee on his back.

 _Uncle_ Chewie? Rey was struck anew by this man she’d dared fall in love with. He came with... So. Much. Baggage. Good and bad.

And who was she? Nothing. No one. No family to call her own, not even a suitcase of clothes. All she had was this lightsaber and even that had belonged to Ben’s mother.

“Stop,” Ben said, turning away from his father and walking back to her. “You saved me, Rey. Don’t doubt yourself now.”

She gave him a tremulous smile. She wished this part was easy. Deep down she would always be Rey of Jakku, waiting for someone to love her enough to come back for her. Trust was not something she gave readily.

“Then I’ll have to earn it,” Ben murmured, cupping her face and kissing her on sticky lips.

She had regretted applying the sweet granadilla lip balm almost as soon as it touched her skin, but Ben certainly seemed to like it.

Something else occurred to Rey.

_We’re in each other’s thoughts._

_Yes._

_How long will this last?_

Ben smirked. _Until tonight, I hope._

Rey blushed and Han looked at them suspiciously.

“We need to get moving. If Poe and his team have done their job, then the ship is set to blow in…”

An explosion big enough to rain plaster down on them and shift the plates beneath their feet swallowed the rest of Han’s statement.

Han rolled his eyes. “Run.”

Rey ran with Ben beside her, knowing he’d slowed down so she could keep pace. They finally arrived at a hangar bay where they’d unceremoniously landed Han’s ship.

“You’re still flying the kriffing _Falcon?_ ” Ben demanded exasperatedly.

“I’ll have you know you were conceived on that ship,” Han said, tossing Ben a blaster pistol as confused stormtroopers took aim at them.

“I really didn’t need to know, dad!”

Chewie moaned in agreement.

Father and son were able to shoot with unerring accuracy on the run, leaving Chewie the first one to board the _Millennium Falcon_. Rey was relieved when the cargo doors closed, sealing them inside the ship. As they took flight, Rey saw the squadron of Resistance X-wings circling the _Finalizer,_ still taking turns leading attack runs against the battlecruiser.

“How are they going to bring down the ship?” Ben asked, his tone odd.

Rey wondered if it was difficult for him to see the place where he’d once made his home razed and destroyed. “Another team snuck onboard and blew up the oscillators responsible for cooling the ship’s engines. It’ll only be a matter of minutes before things overheat and… boom.”

Seventeen seconds later the _Finalizer_ imploded, scattering debris across the galaxy.

“That’s a familiar sight,” Han muttered.

His communication panel crackled to life. “General Solo? Did you get out?”

“Safe and secure, Dameron,” Han reported, tapping the console from his seat beside Chewie.

The voice on comms changed the next second. “Rey, you okay?”

“Finn! I’m fine. Glad you are too. And Rose?”

“I’m here Rey,” Rose’s voice spoke up. “And I got some of the servers out. Jess and Kaydel are with me now.”

“Enough yammering,” Han declared. “The war might be won but there are still battles ahead. We’ll see you at the rendezvous point, kids.” Poe began to say something else but Han promptly hung up on him.

“Jess?” Ben asked Rey.

She tried not to look too annoyed as she replied, “Yes, Rose rescued Jessika and some of our friends.”

Han twisted around in his seat. “Who’s Jessika?” he asked. His eyes went from Ben’s awkward expression to Rey’s face, as dark as a Tatooine dust storm. Han’s eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. “You really are my son, aren’t you?” he muttered to Ben.

Chewie interrupted with a growled instruction and Han agreed with him.

“Right. Buckle up, children.”

Han Solo flipped the switch for lightspeed and the _Millennium Falcon_ shot into hyperspace. They were safe at last.

“I thought we were going home,” Ben said, his eyes on the star map Han and Chewie were following.

It was the next day and they were still travelling, dodging other ships with a skill that only a smuggler could possess.

Rey slipped her smaller hand into Ben’s big one and tugged him away from the cockpit. Like his father, Ben could pilot with the best of them and had even taken control of the _Falcon_ at one point, despite Han’s open protests.

Ben was restless, out of sorts, and he hadn’t slept well. Without discussing it they’d found a room to themselves onboard the _Falcon_. As it turned out, it was Ben’s old room. The bunk bed was narrow but they both preferred sleeping entangled in each other’s arms. There was comfort there, and warmth.

Despite his sly reference in Snoke’s throne room, he hadn’t pushed for sex. And while Rey wanted Ben to wear her like his old cowl, she was too shy to ask.

It was all very well to kill a dark lord and save a galaxy, but no one ever tells you what happens next.

“We _are_ going home,” Rey said. “Our new home. That is, if you still want me by your side.”

Ben wrapped her in his arms, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Rey, I need you to know I’m in this with you, utterly and completely. I may not see our future but I don’t really care. As long as I’m by your side, I know I’m on the right path.”

She blushed, burying her face in his chest. “Ben, I’m not a princess or a senator. I’m barely a Jedi. You said it yourself, I’m nobody.”

He winced. “You’re allowed to slap me for that statement, you know,” he muttered.

“But it’s the truth,” she insisted, chewing on her lower lip.

“Why are you bringing this up?”

“Because we’re headed to the Outer Rim, to a planet called Botajef. It’s tiny and secluded and out of the way. Your mother thought it would be a good place for us to re-start our lives.” Rey looked at Ben anxiously, her heart in her throat. “But if I’m not enough for you, just tell me and we can think up another plan.”

He nodded slowly. “No, that’s good. Quiet is good. But why the Outer Rim? There are many small villages…” Ben’s voice trailed off as he looked at Rey’s hesitant expression. “Ah. My parents are hiding me away.”

She nodded. “If we reunite with the Resistance, they’ll call for a trial and imprisonment. Some may even demand your execution. We can’t let that happen.”

“Did you ever think, my little grub, that I deserve such an end?” Ben asked with a sad smile.

Rey shook her head, gripping his hands. “If you die, I die too,” she whispered.

He leant over and kissed her on the lips. “Then I must never die,” he vowed.

He undressed her slowly, kissing his way across every inch of her tan skin, licking every freckle and pressing his tongue as deep as it would go into the pink slit of her sex. She came twice while riding his lips and impressive nose, slim thighs wrapped tight around his head. Then he placed her on all fours and thrust into her from behind, his manhood thick and swollen, so big he was all she felt in that tender, sticky part of hers.

They made love for hours, until they were dopey with blissed out exhaustion. In the end she lay in his arms, happier and more terrified than she’d ever been in her entire life.

“Ben…”

“Hmm?”

She took his hand and placed it on her flat little belly, the one he’d helped fill out so it was no longer concave. Ben sat up so quickly he smacked his head on the bunk above them.

He grimaced but ignored the pain, his Force signature invading her womb, greeting the newest sign of life.

“Rey?”

“Yes?” she whispered, her heart nearly beating out of her chest.

“I love you.”

She smiled, joyous and content. “I know, Ben.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> -When Rey was thirteen-years-old she turned cold despite working in the heat of Jakku. Unknown to her, she had experienced a Force-bond with Ben Solo who was fighting Ren on a moon. They have always been linked.


	19. Epilogue- Sunflower

_Ten years later…_

“Is Chewie alright?” Rey asked concernedly.

“Happy as a puffer pig in mud,” Han declared, tipping back his bottle of Jefi ale.

Rey arched a doubtful eyebrow in Ben’s direction, but her husband only gave her an amused grin.

Chewie sat on the floor in their living room looking like a mountain of fur over which three rambunctious children clambered. Kira, their eldest at nine and a half years of age, was swinging off his left arm as if it were a tree branch. Paige, one of their six-year-old twins, was pulling on his chest fur with a determined expression, and Padme… Where was Padme?

“I think Padme’s braiding the fur on Chewie’s back,” Rey announced resignedly.

Han choked on his drink and Ben sniggered.

“Poor Chewie,” Leia murmured with unconvincing sympathy.

In her arms she held their latest arrival and the reason for this visit. Owen was barely a month old, his little head already covered with an inescapably Solo-like shaggy head of hair.

Rose had contacted Rey via encrypted comms to also request a meeting, desperate to see the baby. Rey and Ben flew out to different planets with the kids if ever they decided to visit Rose, Jannah, Finn and Poe. Even after all this time, Rey didn’t trust the two men not to reveal Ben’s location. There was still friction there. On the other hand, Jannah flirted shamelessly with the former warlord and Rose blushed every time Ben spoke to her. Maybe it was just a guy thing.

Her four friends remained a vital part of the New Republic. Finn and Poe now held the positions of general, leading incursions to clear out the remnants of First Order military strongholds. Rose had discovered a knack for subspace communication devices and taught the subject in the newly formed New Republic Space Academy, while Jannah ran the cavalry units in core worlds and had risen to the rank of admiral.

They had done well for themselves. She just wished Finn would make up his mind and fall in love with one of the other three.

Owen gurgled, drawing Rey’s attention. He slept like an overfed Ewok- for which Rey and Ben were deeply grateful- and was zonked out even now, drool bubbling from tiny pink lips. Unconsciously, his little foot drifted upwards until he had his toes fitted inside his mouth.

Rey blinked. What in the name of the Force was that about?

Grandma Leia decided it was a sign of his impending genius. “Oh, look at him,” she cooed, eyes dreamy. “Already so advanced for his age.”

Rey met Ben’s gaze and he gave her a subtle shrug. They’d both learnt years ago never to question Leia’s assertions about the perfection of her grandchildren.

The five of them were seated on the deck of Rey and Ben’s home on Botajef overlooking the water, while Chewbacca and the girls played indoors behind clear glass sliding doors. C-3PO and R2-D2 were preparing lunch. The two droids had been much appreciated wedding gifts from Han and Leia almost ten years ago, Threepio as fussy as any nanny and Artoo gamely making sure the children didn’t burn down the house.

Upon arrival on the planet, Rey and Ben discovered there was only one civilisation to attach themselves to; a medium-sized township built around the shipyards. Almost ninety per cent of the citizens were local Jefis, though their ship building industry attracted a bustling crowd of creatures of every shape and size. The Botajef Shipyards were a small operation and with her mechanical know-how, Rey became the chief breadwinner in the family. They agreed it would probably be a good idea for Ben to keep a low profile even on a planet as remote as this one.

Rey had been worried about Ben until the birth of their daughter. Once Kira arrived, she became his whole life.

The funny thing was Kira was an independent little miss, frustrating her dad’s attempts to mollycoddle her. The two of them argued all the time, a battle of wills that shouldn’t have amused Rey as much as it did, and yet the little girl idolised her father. A little too much, it seemed.

“Have you told your parents?” Rey asked. She could feel her milk coming in but was reluctant to separate Leia from Owen.

Ben frowned. “It’s not that big a deal, sweetheart.”

“I agree,” Rey replied, “but I still think it’s a good idea the family is made aware.”

“What are you two going on about?” Han demanded. He’d been unsuccessfully trying to tug baby Owen’s inordinately large and chubby foot from his mouth.

Rey knew it- her son was going to be a bruiser. Stupid Solo genetics.

As Rey continued to glare, Ben said, “Fine, I’ll tell them. We walked into Kira’s room the other day and discovered her using the Force.”

 _“What?”_ Leia exclaimed. She immediately began rocking Owen who’d scrunched his face in response to her shout.

Han groaned, sinking back into his seat. He mumbled something that sounded like, “Not another one.”

Leia ignored him. “What are you two doing about it?”

“Don’t you dare sugarcoat the story,” Rey said irritably.

Ben lifted his hands in appeasement. “There really isn’t much more to tell.”

“What your son has failed to mention,” Rey said, “is that Kira was tapping into the dark side. She’d just had a fight with Padme and was angrily flinging toys across the room.”

“Rey, you’re overstating the matter…”

“Her eyes were glowing red!”

“Ben!” Leia said, sounding as if it was all his doing. “How did you respond?”

Ben gave a sheepish smile as Rey answered, “He picked up Kira and gave her the biggest hug in the world and told her how much she was just like her daddy.”

“You did what?” Leia hissed, trying not to upset the baby.

“It really was the best way to go about it,” Rey continued. “Kira hasn’t tried to tap into the Force since.”

Han guffawed and Ben rolled his eyes. “It’s not my fault she’s ornery. She takes after her mother.”

Rey flung the sweet biscuit she’d been nibbling at his head. Ben caught it with a grin, popping the fragment into his mouth.

“Honestly, you two…” Leia began.

“Calm down, mom,” Ben said, trying to diffuse the situation. “I’m going through some Jedi training techniques with Kira to keep her centred. She wasn’t very happy about the extra lessons until she realised her sisters weren’t welcome. I think she’s now decided they make her special.”

“Padme has a screaming fit every time the two of them disappear to practice,” Rey muttered, biting down on a fresh biscuit.

Leia ran her fingers through Owen’s mop of hair, asking disapprovingly, “Is that little girl still unnaturally attached to you, Ben?”

“Unnatural is a strong word, mother,” Ben replied coolly.

This time it was Rey’s turn to grin. Padme was the only one of their children who hadn’t taken to Grandma Leia, instead clinging to Ben like a plump baby Hutt. She was a sickly child, given to fevers and colds, and with her Ben was able to be as overly indulgent as he wanted.

As if on cue, a high-pitched squall came from inside the house.

“Daddy’s out here!” Ben called, not bothering to turn around.

Padme came running out to him on sturdy legs, her big, dark eyes shining with tears. Ben swung her onto his lap and she curled against his chest, sticking her thumb between pouty lips.

Chewie appeared with the other two girls not long after. He dropped Kira on Han’s lap, who patted her as awkwardly as if she were an Akk puppy, while Paige followed her sister’s lead and wandered over to her father.

Rey watched Ben shift Padme over and lift Paige onto his lap as well. Paige happily poked her sister and Padme squawked again. Ben bent down and kissed the top of Padme’s head to soothe her and the little girl quietened down. The three of them made quite the picture with their glossy black hair and identical pairs of amber dark eyes.

Rey had a sudden aching desire to cry.

This was her family. She who had no one was now surrounded by love.

This was why Snoke had failed. He didn’t understand that love was a force unto itself, a power far greater than anything the dark side could produce.

Filled with love’s light, Rey of Jakku had dared to be brave.

For love’s sake, Ben Solo was reborn.

Love cost all they were and love had set them free.

“Rey?”

“Hmm?”

“You okay, sweetheart?”

She looked at her mother-in-law, cuddling her newborn son. At her father-in-law, balancing her eldest daughter on his knee. She met a Wookiee’s ageless brown gaze, knowing he would lay down his life for any one of them. And Rey smiled at her husband, weighed down by two squirming little girls in pigtails.

“Always.”

**Author's Note:**

> I watched an interview with Adam Driver where he said of Ben Solo and his relationship with Rey in TROS finale: "He has to let her know that they’re together but he’s not entirely sure what will happen from there. Nor does he care. As long as he’s with her, he’s on the right path." I thought this was quite beautiful. Simply put, there is no redemption of Ben Solo without Rey.
> 
> I've wanted to write canon-compliant Reylo for a long time, but I hesitated because I also wanted to honour the wealth of material that's already there. Every character, alien and geographical location mentioned in this story exists in the broader Star Wars universe. The factoids at the end of each chapter come from the movies and also the greater Star Wars world of books, comics, cartoons and video games. For those of you who want to know more, Wookieepedia is an amazing resource. 
> 
> My title comes from Maya Angelou's words: In the flush of love’s light, we dare be brave. And suddenly we see that love costs all we are, and will ever be. Yet it is only love which sets us free.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this story! Comments are welcome but please be kind. Thank you to those who’ve spared the time to give me an encouraging word. You made my day. Xoxo


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